Bitten to Death Quotes

“Your father sounds frightening," Trayton said.

"He once made a general cry."

"No."

"I shit you not. The guy had to retire after that. I mean, really, who's going to follow your orders after some damn colonel's reduced you to tears?”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“Hey, if you're going to price yourself, I say go high.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“Is your butt buzzing?"

Cole, you have the worst timing! I jerked upright, tring to pull my phone out of my pocket and managing instead to bang my elbow against the wall.
Ow! Oh, shit that hurts! You know, the guy who decided it should be a funny bone was just a freaking masochist. Or is it a sadist? I always get those mixed up.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“Have you dared to eat my son?"

I laughed. Actually, it started out as more of a giggle that grew. Because my mind went straight to the gutter.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“Do you even know what hammerd means?" I asked.

"Something to do with drinking your American beer out of a hole in the side of a can?"

Dave reached over and slapped him on the shin. "Close enough.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks's Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!
”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“Vayl, this is not a pleasant moment for me," I confessed.

"No?"

"Locked in a windowless, doorless room with a dancing, headless corpse and a secret sucker that can move fast enought to tear us both a new one if I miss?”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“And then it hit me. One of those evil thoughts siblings get because, well, that's what we do. Looking over my shoulder I said, "You know, since you have some free time, maybe you could...never mind."
"What?"
"Well it's just that, all those calories you've been drink - I mean - not burning off have kind of settled on your gut. I didn't want to mention anything," I said as Dave's hand stole to his midsection. "But the general pointed out that you'd lost a few steps training-wise." I laughed and waved my hand. "I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“It turned out that wandering aimlessly wasn’t the best way to find a pack of werewolves. But stopping and sharing a quiet moment worked like chum in an ocean full of great whites. Vayl and I had just risen and I was pausing to wipe the bark off my fanny when a mocking feminine voice from behind me said, “Aw, Krios, wasn’t that touching? Now can I rip them apart?”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death