Island of the Sequined Love Nun Quotes

“Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do some things on faith.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Sometimes this high-tech world calls for low-tech solutions.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“This Roberto. He no like the light.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“If manta rays are going to be harmless, they should look more harmless, Pardee thought. Fuckers look like aquatic Draculas.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Even a mentally challenged shark would figure out that sea turtles did not wear boxer shorts printed in flying piggies, and no sea turtle would be yattering streams of obscenities between chain-smoker gasps of breath.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“He didn’t understand religion. It was like heroin or golf: He knew a lot of people did it, but he didn’t understand why.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Life is an irritation.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Success in America doesn't require any special talent or any kind of extra effort. You just have to be consistent and not fuck up. That's how most people fail. They can't stand the pressure of getting what they want, so when they see that they are getting close they engineer some sort of fuckup to undermine their success.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“We Ask the Gods for Answers and They Give Us Questions”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Nothing fucks up a religion like an intervention from a real God.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Alive," Kimi interrupted. "I get you out of typhoon alive and you just yell and say bad things. I quit. You get new navigator. Roberto say you mean, nasty, Chevy-driving, milk-drinking, American dog f*cker."
I don't drink milk," Tuck said. Ha! Won that round.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Tucker Case did not play golf. He’d tried it once, and although he’d enjoyed the drinking and driving the little electric car into the lake, he just didn’t get the appeal. It seemed—and he’d examined the game closely because his father had loved it—an awful lot like a bunch of rich white guys in goofy clothing walking around on an absurdly large lawn hitting absurdly small white balls with crooked sticks.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“if you do your job and assume that everyone else is incompetent, you will seldom be disappointed.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Losers can only flourish until a dominant species appears”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Multiple Personality Barbie. She’s elegant, she’s fashionable, and she’s the reason that Ken has no genitals! Have fun, but remember to hide the sharp stuff!”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t move a thing, I didn’t touch a thing, I didn’t change a thing. Believers do everything.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Tuck watched the sun bubble into the ocean. Columns of vertical cumulus clouds turned to cones of pink cotton candy, then as the sun became a red wafer on the horizon, they turned candy-apple red, with purple rays reaching out of them like searchlights. The water was neon over wet asphalt, blood-spattered gunmetal—colors from the cover of a detective novel where heroes drink hard and beauty is always treacherous.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Isolate ’em. That’s why all your loony-toon cult guys have to get their people out in the boonies somewhere where no one can talk any sense into ’em. Just”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“The only way to control the faithful is to not become one of them”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“The key to retaining their respect was to find out what they wanted to do, then tell them to do it.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Tastes like shit!”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“The receptionist was a petite Asian woman of forty who spoke English so precisely that Tuck knew it had to be her second language.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“You've got the look, but you can't walk the walk or talk the talk. Tucker, you are a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, but out of the goodness of my heart, I will take you on as my student.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Ma la smetteva o no di fare il difficile? «Senti, Darwin, stanotte i dinosauri non scopano di sicuro, Scegli con chi stare».”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“La febbre aveva catapultato Tucker Case in un sogno nel quale veniva gettato in mezzo a grandi onde elastiche di demoni dalle ali di pipistrello - sbriciolato, soffocato, morso e graffiato - e là, nel caos, vedeva con la coda dell'occhio un foglietto rosa di ammorbidente, a riprova del fatto che lo avevavno sbattuto nel cestello di una lavatrice infernale.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Il mattino dopo, il primo pensiero di Tuck fu: Ho un aereo da prendere. Il secondo: ho il cazzo rotto.
Succede. Hai un'irritazione intima - emorroidi, crampi mestruali, malattie veneree, la vescica infiammata - e per quanto provi a sfuggirne l'attrazione gravitazionale, la mente si ritrova imprigionata nell'orbita del pensiero circolare. Se qualcosa riesce a distrarti dall'irritazione, è un'altra irritazione. La vita è un'irritazione.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“La voce di Jake si perdeva come il suono di un kazoo nella galleria del vento.”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun

“Privacy is a rare commodity on a small island and secrets weigh heavy on their keepers”
― Christopher Moore, Island of the Sequined Love Nun