The Breakup Bible Quotes

“TEN BREAKUP COMMANDMENTS:
1. Move out
2. You cannot be friends
3. Do not process this break-up together
4. Do not bad mouth your ex to other people
5. Get rid of anything that reminds of him
6. Start and exercise regimen
7. Pursue an interest you could not have pursued while you and your ex were together
8. Take a vacation
9. Embrace Change
10. Go on a date”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible

“...[W]hen I told my dad why I was calling, he just said, 'Honey, you're so beautiful it doesn't matter what you wear.' I wondered how many dads in America were, at that very moment, giving their daughters the same useless advice mine was giving me.”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible

“If love was a disease, I'd been cured.”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible

“Why take the risk? Surely somebody would invent a crystal ball to tell you whether or not a relationship would work out before it started.”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible

“What if in every breakup, the dumper gets to live happily ever after, while the dumpee gets a lifetime membership in the Bitter Book Club?”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible

“Even though we'd never met, imagining being dumped by Gene made me want to die. What was the point of going out with someone? What was the point of falling in love? The whole thing was enough to make me wish I'd been born in one of those countries where they still have arranged marriages. I mean, okay, yes, it would certainly suck not being allowed to drive or vote and having to ask a man's permission to leave the house.
But at least you wouldn't have to worry about being dumped.”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible

“A breakup is the single most traumatic event in the life of a woman outside of a death. Some women can take years to recover.”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible

“Because if anything can make death feel like a truly desirable alternative, it's getting dumped.”
― Melissa Kantor, The Breakup Bible