Apprentice Foole Quotes

“Vane, pretentious people were often the subject of my columns. ”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“Bored, your highness?”             “Out of my gord, Geoffrey. ”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“Left wing, whacko groups like animal rights activists and right-to-lifers were easy targets for my humor.  I enjoyed poking fun at these closed-minded groups.”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“emerge, I want to see them in full regatta - black leather jackets, sleeveless denim vests, boots and chains...LOTS of chains. ”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“your forest is teaming with strong, healthy game. ”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“Television is full of contractions. ”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“I’m Suzy, and I lost 87 pounds in just nine weeks.”              “I’m Leon, and I lost 112 pounds in seven weeks.”             “I’m Mertyl and I lost 236 pounds overnight.”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“Yeah, Killer?  This is Spike.  Count me out for the rumble today with the rest of the Hells’ Angels.  I have the sniffles and my mom won’t let me out of the house...”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“I don't know if the people who inspired this next column fall into the category of stupid, vane, pretentious, in dire need of attention or all of the above. ”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole

“As for me, my greatest fear is that the average mentality of the American people is dropping at an alarming rate. ”
― Bill Bernico, Apprentice Foole