Don't Point that Thing at Me Quotes

“There’s nothing like gunfire to drive the glamour from words.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me

“My flight was announced by Donald Duck noises from a loudspeaker; I arose and shuffled off towards the statistical improbability of dying in an airplane crash. Personally, the thought of such a death appalls me little – what civilized man would not rather die like Icarus than be mangled to death on a Motorway by a Ford Popular?”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“she looked about as hard to get as a haircut and at about the same price.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me

“When depressed, go and find someone to salute you.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“We know that death is the only end of art. A chap who has gone to all the trouble of strangling his wife is entitled to his moment of splendour on the gallows – it is a crime to make him sew mailbags like a common thief.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“Karl Popper urges us to be constantly on our guard against the fashionable disease of our time: the assumption that things cannot be taken at their face value, that an apparent syllogism must be the rationale of an irrational motive, that a human avowal must conceal some self-seeking baseness. (Freud assures us that Leonardo’s John the Baptist is a homosexual symbol, his upward-pointing index finger seeking to penetrate the fundament of the universe; art historians know that it is a centuries-old cliché of Christian iconography.)”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“Have you ever been a member of the Communist or Anarchist parties, Mr Mortdecai?’ ‘Good Lord no!’ I cried gaily, ‘filthy capitalist, me. Grind the workers’ faces, I say.’ ‘When you were at school?’ he prompted gently. ‘Oh. Well, yes, I think I did take the Red side in the debating society at school once or twice. But in the Lower Sixth we all got either religion or Communism – it goes with acne you know. Vanishes as soon as you have proper sexual intercourse.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“toward the end she was she was wearing nothing but seven beads, four of them sweat”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me

“How sharper than a serpent's tooth is an awakening without tea!”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me

“I never drink alcohol. I do not like to blunt my senses.’ ‘Goodness,’ I babbled, ‘but how awful for you. Not drinking, I mean. I mean, imagine getting up in the morning knowing that you’re not going to feel any better all day.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me

“Martland paused in his narrative and I did not urge him on, for this was very bad news, for when millionaires go mad poorer people get hurt.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“Somewhere in the trash he reads Martland has read that heavy men walk with surprising lightness and grace; as a result he trips about like a portly elf hoping to be picked up by a leprechaun.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“these people believe that they are the doctors of society, whereas in fact they are only the disease.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“Destroying the painting was out of the question: my soul is all stained and shagged with sin like a cigarette smoker’s moustache but I am quite incapable of destroying works of art. Steal them, yes, cheerfully, it is a mark of respect and love, but destroy them, never.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“Sleep is not, with me, a mere switching off: it is a very positive pleasure to be supped and savoured with expertise. It was a good night; sleep pampered me like a familiar, salty mistress who yet always has a new delight with which to surprise her jaded lover.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point That Thing at Me

“Some of my best friends are women,' I snapped, 'though I certainly wouldn't want my daughter to marry one of them.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me

“she looked about as hard to get as a haircut and at about the same”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me

“Martland has only two personalities – Wilde and Eeyore.”
― Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me