The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4 Quotes

“There's only one thing more boring than listening to other people's dreams, and that's listening to their problems.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“I have a problem. I am an intellectual, but at the same time I am not very clever.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“8.45 a.m. My mother is in the hospital grounds smoking a cigarette. She is looking old and haggard. All the debauchery is catching up with her.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“Adrian Mole's diary
Easter
Poor Jesus, it must have been dead awful for him. I wouldn't have the guts to do it myself.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“Had a note from Mr Cherry asking me when I can resume my paper round. I sent a note back to say that due to my mother's desertion I am still in a mental state. This is true. I wore odd socks yesterday without knowing it. One was red and one was green. I must pull myself together. I could end up in a lunatic asylum.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“I used to be the sort of boy who had sand kicked in his face, now I'm the sort of boy who watches somebody else have it kicked in their face”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“Mrs O'Leary said, 'Tis the child I feel sorry for', and all the people looked up and saw me, so I looked especially sad, I expect the experience will give me a trauma at some stage in the future. I'm all right at the moment, but you never know.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“My skin is dead good. I think it must be a combination of being in love and Lucozade.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“I asked her about my Family Allowance today, she laughed and said she used it for buying gin and cigarettes.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“Had a long talk with Mr Vann the Careers teacher today. He said that if I want to be a vet I will have to do Physics, Chemistry and Biology for O level. He said that Art, Woodwork and Domestic Science won’t do much good. I am at the Crossroads in my life. The wrong decision now could result in a tragic loss to the veterinary world. I am hopeless at science. I asked Mr Vann which O levels you need to write situation comedy for television. Mr Vann said that you don’t need qualifications at all, you just need to be a moron.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“I am very unhappy and have once again turned to great literature for solace. It’s no surprise to me that intellectuals commit suicide, go mad or die from drink. We feel things more than other people. We know the world is rotten and that chins are ruined by spots.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“I have a problem. I am an intellectual, but at the same time I am not very clever”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“At four o’clock I had one of those rare moments of happiness that I will remember all my life. I was sitting in front of Grandma’s electric coal fire eating dripping toast and reading the News of the World. There was a good play on Radio Four about torturing in concentration camps. Grandma was asleep and the dog was being quiet. All at once I felt this dead good feeling. Perhaps I am turning religious. I think I have got it in me to be a Saint of some kind.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“She is just straight all the way up and down, including her nose and mouth and hair.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“Us intellectuals keep anti-social hours. It does us good.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“I remembered my resolution about helping the poor and ignorant today, so I took some of my old Beano annuals to a quite poor family who have moved into the next street. I know they are poor because they have only got a black and white telly. A boy answered the door. I explained why I had come. He looked at the annuals and said, ‘I’ve read ’em,’ and slammed the door in my face. So much for helping the poor!”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“I think Jane Austen should write something a bit more modern.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“tarting”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“He was standing very still with his arms folded, staring with poached egg eyes.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“My grandma let the dog out of the coal shed. She said my mother was cruel to lock it up. The dog was sick on the kitchen floor. My grandma locked it up again.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“Just measured my thing. It has grown one centimetre. I might be needing it soon.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“Measured my ‘thing’. It was eleven centimetres.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“I had my first wet dream!”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“He had a face like the north face of the Eiger by the time we’d got to the bit where the three wise men were reviled as capitalist pigs. He took Miss Elf into the showers and had a ‘Quiet Word’. We all heard every word he shouted. He said he wanted to see a traditional Nativity play, with a Tiny Tears doll playing Jesus and three wise men dressed in dressing gowns and tea towels. He threatened to cancel the play if Mary, alias Pandora, continued to go into simulated labour in the manger. This is typical of Scruton, he is nothing but a small-minded, provincial, sexually-inhibited fascist pig. How he rose to become a headmaster I do not know. He has been wearing the same hairy green suit for three years”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“qwerty”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾

“Но у меня и друзей-то больше не осталось. Наверное, потому, что я интеллектуал. Все просто не знают, как ко мне подступиться”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“Брак вовсе не похож на тюрьму! Женщины могут каждый день свободно выходить в магазин и вообще куда им надо, а многие даже на работу ходят”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4

“Paul walked with something screwed up tight inside him … yet he chatted away with his mother. He would never have confessed to her how he suffered over these things and she only partly guessed.” D.H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“Lady Diana melted my heartstrings in her dirty white dress. She even helped an old man up the aisle. I thought it was very kind of her considering it was her wedding day. Loads of dead famous people were there. Nancy Reagan, Spike Milligan, Mark Phillips, etc., etc. The Queen looked a bit jealous. I expect it was because people weren’t looking at her for a change.”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4

“My father wouldn’t give me a note excusing me from Games so I spent nearly all morning dressed in pyjamas diving into a swimming pool and picking up a brick from the bottom. I had a bath when I came home but I still smell of chlorine. I just don’t see the point of the above lesson. When I am grown up I am hardly going to walk along a river bank in my pyjamas, am I? And who would be stupid enough to dive into a river for a boring old brick? Bricks are lying around all over the place!”
― Sue Townsend, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4