Wake Up, Sir! Quotes

“Oh, God, I don't know what's more difficult, life or the English language.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“I was aware that I was acting atrociously but I couldn't stop myself. Rarely had I behaved in such a manner. But I guess when we're feeling lonely in life, we attack those who actually do love us. It's one of the things that characterizes human nature and can be summed up in one word: FLAWED.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm, and yet I continue to do everything I shouldn't do.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“It was another sunny day, good for skin cancer and playing tennis.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“Essentially I'm a pantheist-agnostic. I worship many deities with equal amounts of confusion.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“I do think everyone would be a lot happier if we laid eggs on our own and could just have friendship and didn't need to mount and penetrate one another.”
― Jonathan Ames , Wake Up, Sir!

“It's not easy taking care of one's self, determining nap lengths and all that, but with two people it's a manageable job.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“It's very hard not to commit cancer suicide in America.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“My Caprice was a spacious cruiser, well insulated from the world—one motored along the highways as if sitting in a middle-class living room equipped with an engine and tires.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!: A Novel

“Praise a man’s penis and there’s not much he can’t do.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“I'll be the first to admit it. My whole unconscious, well I'm somewhat conscious of it, outlook on life is built on the premise that I can't stand myself and should be shot. So, if people love you, it makes it difficult to go about your business of being blissfully self-destructive and impulsive.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“It's always unnerving when people are loving.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“At some point in America's history, gas stations metamorphosed into small grocery stores, specializing in foods - no doubt, also made from petroleum - meant to destroy one's health.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“I'm an advocate of positive thinking, even if it's irrational positive thinking.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“I'm and advocate of positive thinking, even if it's irrational positive thinking.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“Rather than say anything, I stood up and put my foot in the water, testing it. Testing the water, that is, not my foot. Though maybe it was my foot I was testing - whether it could tolerate the water's temperature. Oh, God, I don't know what's more difficult, life or the English language.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!

“Yes. We have rooms. But closed one more week. Come back one week.”
― Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!: A Novel