File Under Quotes

“Sometimes you are suspicious because of something, and sometimes you are suspicious because of nothing. This incident began in the library, where I could find nothing good to read. This was suspicious.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

“- “What kind of funny?” I asked her. “Funny like a clown onstage? Or funny like a clown hanging around the entrance to a bank?”
-“The bank one.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

“The sky was dark blue twilight, pretty to look at but lonely to walk under.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

“I was in my favorite seat in the library, but it wasn’t helping me like the book any better. It was a book people kept putting in my hands and telling me I was going to love, the way the doctor tells you the needle won’t hurt a bit. The book began the way it always began before I gave up on it: with a man carrying around a drawing or a snake that had just eaten, and asking people what they thought of it. I thought it was no way to start up a conversation.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

“I had a list of ways I would prefer to die. Drowning was toward the bottom of the list. My top choice was “never.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

“A rug feels like a lion, but that doesn't mean you can ride it.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

“These three man," Mimi said, "are suspects in a recent theft. Last night, Polly Partial received a shipment of twenty blueberry pies. This morning she counted them and came up short."
"How many are missing?" I asked.
"Last night she had twenty," Harvey said, shutting the station door, "and today she found zero. So at least eighteen are missing."
"At least." I agreed.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

“A good breakfast is better than a bad one, like a good book is better than having your toe chopped off.”
― Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents