Holy Frigging Matrimony Quotes

“My favourite dress of yours will always be…the one on the floor.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“Have I told you how cock-stiffeningly gorgeous you look tonight?”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“You smell like sweat and sex…and me. It’s hot. Eau de Cum kicks Chanel Number Five’s ass.”
For a guy, there’s something primordial about a woman covered in your scent – it’s the most primitive way of staking your claim. Of showing every other peckerhead that a woman is very much taken. It’s animalistic, sure, but that doesn’t make it any less arousing.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“MARRIAGE. The final frontier. Steven went first. He was kind of our test subject. Like those monkeys that NASA sent off into space in the fifties, knowing they’d never make it back alive.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“I don’t even know what to say to you.”
I squirm – just a little. “He started it.”
Her eyes narrow. “Are you serious?”
I think about it for a minute. “Kind of.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“You smell like sweat and sex…and me. It’s hot. Eau de Cum kicks Chanel Number Five’s ass.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“I don’t wanna go. I want to defile the prestigious Plaza Hotel by having you ride me like a slutty mermaid in the bathtub.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“Not that I have anything against dancing. Some guys will tell you it’s effeminate but I’m not one of them. Today’s dancing is practically sex with your clothes on, dry humping in a room full of people. And I’m definitely into that.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“Kate points her finger at me, like a teacher reprimanding a student. “Tell the truth, Drew.” “What am I? Ten years old?” “Emotionally? Sometimes. But that’s beside the point. Did you peek at my dress?” I reach around her waist and press our lower halves together. “No, baby, I didn’t look at your dress.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“My favorite dress of yours will always be…the one on the floor.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“For a guy, there’s something primordial about a woman covered in your scent—it’s the most primitive way of staking your claim. Of showing every other peckerhead that a woman is very much taken. It’s animalistic, sure, but that doesn’t make it any less arousing.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony

“Out of nowhere the lovely woman in question appears beside me, standing between our bar stools. “What’s going on? What is this?”

I open my mouth to explain, but Warren beats me to it. “Relax, Katie. Me and Evans…just buryin’ the old hammer.”

“Hatchet.”

“That, too.”

Her eyes flicker back and forth between us. I smile calmly. Reassuringly.

She’s not convinced. “So, what? You two get into a fight, have a few beers, and now you’re all buddy buddy? You gonna go outside and pee on the wall together, too?”

Warren holds up his hand. “Let’s not get crazy. It’s not like we’re gonna hang out and play foosball or something. But if Evans here ever needs an extra hand with an assisted suicide?” He taps his chest. “I’m your guy.”

I raise my glass. “Well said.”
― Emma Chase, Holy Frigging Matrimony