The Sinister Mr. Corpse Quotes

“What makes you think I'm coping?" "Well, for one thing, you're not lying on the floor in the fetal position. That's a good start.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“What a jerk. How dare he tell Stanley that he was wasting the gift? Famous for being famous. Yeah, right. He was the first human being ever brought back to life by scientific means. Famous for being famous. Jesus Christ.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Stanley awoke in his hotel room bed. Veronica, Martin, and Brant were there, as was Dr. Arnzin, who was currently hovering over him and prodding him with a small metal thingie. "Ow," said Stanley. "Oh, good, you're awake," said Dr. Arnzin. "How do you feel?" "Not delightful. What is that thing?" "This? I use it to prod people." Dr. Arnzin set the metal thingie aside.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Mandy gave him the finger. "You can have the rest of the booze, if you want," Stanley offered. "Go to hell." "Yes, ma'am.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“His mouth spewed out a gigantic waterfall of stupid comments on a regular basis, but he'd always said them on purpose. Being an accidental dullard was something new. Did sudden celebrity turn one into an idiot? It would certainly explain a lot...”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Stanley and Martin sat in the interrogation room across from Veronica and a lawyer named Bloodsucking Bastard.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Hi. I'm here to murder you. May I come in?”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Now, if you don't mind, we're going to get some hair samples, tissue samples, saliva samples, fingernail samples, urine samples, and stool samples." "Would you like a booger, too?" "Actually, yes, let's get a mucus sample while we're at it.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Do you want to embrace eternal life, or do you want to be like those whiny vampires?”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“I don't have any blood?" "Not a drop. It's being stored in jars in a freezer somewhere in the facility. Do you want to see it?”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Let's start by checking your pulse," said Dr. Arnzin, wrapping the cuff of the blood pressure monitor around Stanley's arm and inflating it. He glanced at the readout and nodded. "No pulse. Good.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“How are your dead bones doing today?" "They've been deader." "Good, good, good. That's good. Have a seat on that ice-cold stool and we'll look you over, okay?”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Stanley felt at least thirty-five percent less sane as he walked out of his psychological examination, but he was pretty sure they'd stamp his file "Not a Whacko." ”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Stanley flipped up the toilet lid and took a long piss, terrified that he might spring a leak and hit himself in the eye.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse

“Every day's a sunshiny day when you don't have maggots and spiders eating your guts.”
― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse