Neanderthal Seeks Human Quotes

“« Quote of the day: “Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel it».”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“I decided, as I succumbed to sleep, that men should come with manuals, subtitles, and reset buttons.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“You make me want to be less of an asshole.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“We see the strengths and faults in others that we do not or cannot recognize in ourselves.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“Since I spent much of my childhood being left behind and ignored, one might think that, as an adult, moments of perceived abandonment would feel old hat. The truth is, as an adult, I am always waiting to be left behind. I’m always ready to be discarded and, therefore, I spend a significant amount of time preparing for this eventuality.
I lower my expectations, I don’t seek out meaningful relationships, and I don’t engage in any sort of real intimacy, physical or otherwise.
Engage is the key word here. Except, when I engage, when it happens, when I’m left behind it doesn’t feel old hat. It feels like it did the first time and it takes me by surprise. So, I don’t let it happen.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“I have no desire to cherish each person's bullshit and call it a beautiful snowflake.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“She said I owned the clothes of a radiologist and the shoes of an OBGYN; which is like the medical doctor equivalent of saying that I dressed like a librarian with a propensity of fuckmeboots.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“If we were in Victorian England I would have called him dashing;but, since we lived in the 21st century I would have to settle for the wordier GQ model hot.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“If I were a function, you would be my asymptote. I always tend toward you.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“It means my brain finds you more interesting than all the really interesting trivial facts I could be contemplating or researching at present.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“He didn’t save us ; haven’t you been listening?” Elizabeth held an icepack to her chin where she’d been hit by an meaty elbow . “Fiona stabbed one of them with a Susan Bates needle, Marie was wielding a tequila bottle, Sandra pistol-whipped the other, and I shot the third.”

“Where were Janie and Kat?” Ashley looked from me to Kat.

“Hiding behind the couch like sane people!” Kat said before anyone else could speak.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“Almost immediately I told that voice to go eat shit and die.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“We fought over the bill when it came. By fought I mean: I insisted loudly on paying half and he responded with beleaguered silence. Instead of discussing it or attempting to engage in my one-sided conversation, he wordlessly put his credit card in the holder; he kept it carefully out of my reach as I continued to list all the reasons we should split the check, not the least of which was that we’d agreed earlier that this was not a date,
then handed it stealthily to the waiter as he passed. I was still oblivious, making my case, when Quinn signed the receipt.“Wait- what are you doing?” I looked from him to the paper slip.Silence. Scribble. Silence. “Did you just sign that? Was that the check?” My voiced hitched, my eyes wide with pseudo outrage. He glanced up at me, something like mock innocence lighting his features, and said, “I’m sorry. Did you want to split that?”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“I had reclusive tendencies for a reason, I couldn’t be trusted to live in the world and make decisions on my own.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“My upstairs brain and my downstairs brain engaged in a game of risk and it was downstairs’ turn to roll the dice.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“God, Quinn, you have no idea how permanent I’d like this to be. I’d like us to be Twinkies and cockroaches, death and taxes. But I…”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“I was determined to stay off the see-saw of crazy”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“I didn’t like trusting, I didn’t like setting greater than mild expectations”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“And when you’re ready to cut his balls off, I will provide the knife.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“However, the more stressful my situation is, the less I think about it, or anything related to it. At present , I thought about how the elevators were like mechanical horses, and I wondered if anyone loved them or named them.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“That is why I don't want a cell phone. I don't want a droopy fin.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“I wondered what steps I could take to remove the word ‘moisture’ or even ‘moist’ from the English language; I really hated the way it sounded and always went out of my way to avoid saying it. I also really didn’t like the word slacks”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“... It wasn't my finest moment, but I rolled my eyes and actually huffed. "Fine, don't answer. I don't even know why I asked."
"No, I am not having sex with anyone."
"Oh." I shrugged nonchalantly, but for some reason his response filled me with glee. It was as if a unicorn had appeared beneath a double rainbow and started tap dancing.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“Look at them. Where are they looking? They're not looking at each other, they're not looking at the art on the wall or the sun in the sky; they're looking at their phones. They hang on to every beep and alert and tweet and status update. I don't want to be that. I'm distracted enough as it is by the actual, tangible, physical world. I've embraced the efficiency of a desktop PC for work and research, and I even use a laptop on my own time, but I draw the line at a cell phone. If I want social media, I'll join a book club. I will not be collared and leashed and tracked like a tagged orca in the ocean.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“He lifted a single eyebrow as he adjusted his pants, zipping his fly. The sound made my back stiffen and I realized how close we’d just been to copulating in the back of a car.
“I think you look good just like that.”
I stared at him for two seconds before I smacked him on his infuriatingly well-muscled shoulder.
“My shirt is ripped open and…” I frantically twisted in my seat and may have shrieked, “Where are my underwear?!”
There was no amusement in his voice when he responded, “Someplace safe.”
My eyes widened further and, I knew, my mouth hung open dumbly. I was about to lose my mind.
“Give them back-”
“You don’t need them-”
“-to me right now-”
“-and you should try new things-”
“I am not leaving this limo while commando!”
The passenger door on Quinn’s side opened and I yanked the skirt I was wearing back to my midcalf.
I didn't miss his dark smile when it was clear that I was not likely to push the underwear issue further until we were in private. And, by then, it likely wouldn't matter.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“It’s nice to hear your voice…?” The statement came out sounding like a question, as though I
were playing jeopardy and I’d chosen my category-
‘I’ll take ‘Charming Chit Chat’ for $200, Alex’ and behind the $200 read: ‘This is what you say
to the hot guy- you abandoned- when he returns after you inexplicably leave him and his private
jet in Las Vegas after having amazing and multiple occurrences of the hot sex.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“I was planning to sort my comic books based on level of second wave feminist influence.” “As opposed to first wave?” “Yes, well, Susan B. Anthony laid the foundation for those who have come after. It’s all really interrelated but she didn’t have direct influence over late twentieth century comics.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“Dan was shorter than me, especially as I was wearing sky blue silk stilettos. He appeared to be my age or a few years older,stocky, and thick necked with swirling tattoos just visible beneath the blue collar of his uniform.Dan gave me a plain once over as he walked me to an elevator and placed his palm against a glass screen. The screen retracted to reveal keypad. Dan then punched in a series of numbers and he said- “You’re very big.”I gave him a cursory smile, “Yes. I ate all my vegetables as a child.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

“When we unloaded the last box Vincent surprised me by taking my hand and placing a kiss on my knuckles. His deep chocolate eyes gazed into mine as he spoke with an air of knowing wisdom, “If I ever cheated on my wife I think she’d have cut my balls off. If you don’t want to castrate this guy after what he’s done then he’s not the one for you.” he nodded as though affirming the truth of his words.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human