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by
C.D. Reiss10,174 ratings, 4.18 average rating, 558 reviews
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“The minute I told you to spread your legs and you did it, you were mine. When I told you to beg for it and you did, you were mine. When you put your hands behind your back without being told, I owned you.”
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“You forgot to cross off anal sex.”
“I tried it once. Didn’t like it. If you’re better at it, I’ll have another crack.” I paused. “No pun intended.”
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“I tried it once. Didn’t like it. If you’re better at it, I’ll have another crack.” I paused. “No pun intended.”
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“You're both the best and worst submissive I've never met." "And you're the only dominant I've ever met." "I want to be your last. I want to ruin you for other men." "Better get cracking then, Drazen." "Sir." "Drazen, sir." He smirked.”
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“My name is Monica, and I am not submissive. I stand six feet tall in heels. I am descended from one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century. I can sing like an angel, and growl like a lion. I am not owned. I am music.”
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“I want to say," he said as he placed my right wrist and right knee together, "If you say stop, it's good enough for me, but we might want to set a safeword." He spread my legs to get the right length under my back and tired my right side together, letting the rest of the loop drop off the edge of the bed. "Tangerine," I said. "Tangerine?" "I doubt you can keep doing whatever it is you're doing if I saw tangerine." "Fine, wiseass.”
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“You turned on?" He asked. "Yes." "If I do anything that changes that, you let me know." I nodded. "I didn't hear that." "Yes." "Yes what?" At once, I rebelled against the suggestion that I call him by an honorary, but at the same time, I wanted desperately to complete the act of surrender. "Yes, sir." "You just gave me a little palpitation." "I am at your service.”
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“I wanted to feel good, if only for a minute, and to forget everything for as long as it took us to be bind together and fall apart. I hadn't earned it, but I wanted it.”
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“For fuck's sake, I'd killed my best friend, first with carelessness and then with ambition. I started texting back: - you have the wrong.... But then i felt his lips on my shoulder and his warm breath on my skin, and my sorrow dropped out of me. I couldn't finish. My chest hitched and heaved, and the tears came so hard I couldn't breathe. His arms held me tight from behind, and his voice twisted itself into little nothings of comfort. I went into a timeless blackness where I let everything spill out, because he'd catch it. I knew in every couch and sob, ever hitched breath and chest spasm, that he'd hold me together. Whatever fell apart, he'd put right. I couldn't curse him for not being everything I needed or failing to commit to me completely. I didn't have space to reject his idea that I was submissive or the will to deny him control over me. He was there, and he was exactly what I needed.”
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“I hurled myself under the covers, naked and half wet, grabbing my phone on the way. - don't come nevermind - I heard a phone dine from the living room and, soon after, a voice so close it shocked me. "Too late," Jonathan said. "Your front door was open." -go away - a blast of cold air hit me as the covers were moved, and in the next breath, I caught his new scent. He pulled the covers over us just as his phone dinged. He pressed his front to my back, spooning me, this clothes taking on the dampness I hadn't gotten around to toweling off. "I'm sorry Monica. He put his face in my wet hair and draped his arm around me. "Ah. What's this text I have here? It says go away." I sniffled. He slid his arm under my neck and held the phone in front of our faces with both hands. His breath tickled my ear. "Let me text back. Hang on." -I'd rather be here for you - I waited for it to appear on my phone. He nuzzled into the hair pooling at the back of my neck as i typed back. - And then what? - His fingers flew across the glass. - And let's talk about the rest later. Today, you are the goddess my universe revolves around. -”
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“I knew in every cough and sob, every hitched breath and chest spasm, that he’d hold me together. Whatever fell apart, he’d put right.”
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“Why do you want to know?” he asked.
“I hate secrets.”
“I have secrets I may never tell you.”
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“I hate secrets.”
“I have secrets I may never tell you.”
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“Our relationship was too serious to forget and move on, and too casual to get upset over him fucking his…”
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“My life would be the same in all the surface ways. I'd live in the same house and have the same friends. But somehow I'd changed. He'd woken me from a dreamless sleep, and I couldn't roll over and close my eyes, because, in my wakefulness I'd started dreaming.”
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“—I’d rather be here for you— I waited for it to appear on my phone. He nuzzled into the hair pooling at the back of my neck as I typed back. —And then what?— His fingers flew across the glass. —And let’s talk about the rest later. Today, you are the goddess my universe revolves around.—”
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“—What are you doing now?— —I’m under my covers— —Alone?— —y— —A crime— I smiled, and the feeling of levity cracked the brittle shell of sorrow, if only for a second, and tears streamed down my face. —Don’t make me laugh, fuckhead— —May I join you under those lucky covers?— When I read the message, I didn’t feel his request in my loins, but on my skin. I wanted him to touch me. Kiss me. Breathe on me. Talk to me. Hold me for hours. The desire wasn’t just between my legs, but in my rib cage, my marrow, my fingertips. Could I give up the consuming protection of loneliness and indulge in a few hours with Jonathan? Was I worthy of a little comfort? Probably not. And I hadn’t forgotten the submissive thing. No. He was going to drag me into a pit of defilement and humiliation. Seeing him would only draw him closer to me than he should be, ever. I texted: —I need you— I hit send. I shouldn’t have.”
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