Air Quotes

“She steps away now and looks me directly in the eye, placing her hands on my arms.

"I'm going to tell you something now, Aaron," she says. "And I want you to listen. Because I mean it. Because you're my friend."

I nod.

"You deserve to be loved.”
― John Boyne, Air

“He stood up, came around the table, and leaned over, hugging me, something he hadn't done in more than a year, before walking away and closing the door to his room quietly behind him.”
― John Boyne, Air

“If there was ever a time to unearth all the secrets that had caused so much trauma in our lives, then this was it. And so I told him of the things that had happened to me when I was fourteen and how badly they had affected me over the years that followed. I hoped it would go some way to explaining why I could be so overprotective at times.

He listened carefully, never interrupting, and showed no sign of embarrassment throughout what was a lengthy and difficult conversation, centered around such an intimate topic. When I reached the conclusion of my tale, he looked down at the table for a long time, his brow furrowed, and neither of us spoke for quite some time. I guessed that he needed to think this through, to reframe me in his mind as someone who had gone through a childhood trauma and spent twenty-six years trying to come to terms with it. I could tell that he found nothing salacious about it but recognized what had happened for what it was. A crime.”
― John Boyne, Air

“Dad," he says.

"Yes?"

He hesitates.

"Just to say. I know this has probably been the world's worst fortieth birthday."

"You're not wrong there."

"But..." And here he avoids my eyes, looking down at the ground beneath our feet. "You've been a great dad." He bites his lip, embarrassed, and says the words that I've spent my life longing to hear, a phrase without the word too at the end. "So, just to say... I love you. And I'm glad you brought me here."

I tell myself not to ruin the moment by hugging him like a maniac. Instead, I simply nod and mentally record the moment, which I know I will relive many times in the future.”
― John Boyne, Air

“There's no Wi-Fi," he says, his tone one of utter disbelief. "Dad, there's no Wi-Fi."

"Should I call the police?" I ask, and he stares at me for a moment, as if he thinks I'm genuinely suggesting this, before rolling his eyes. "We're in a fairly isolated place, Emmet. It's possible there won't be any Wi-Fi on the island at all."

"None?"

"I mean, it's possible."

"How do they survive?”
― John Boyne, Air

“Part of me feels slightly disconcerted by how beautiful I find my son. There were moments in his childhood when I found him so utterly perfect that it was difficult not to weep when he came running toward me. I wanted him to stay that way forever, never to change. And it seems as if it's only now, in moments of repose, when he's not being a pain-in-the-ass teen, that his childhood flawlessness is momentarily restored.

I suppose I looked like him once, long ago, too. Utterly innocent.

Maybe that's why Freya chose me.”
― John Boyne, Air

“Art is generally about love, one way or another, don't you think? Every book. Every song. Every film. All of us trying to live with it. Or get over it. Or wonder why we've never had it.”
― John Boyne, Air

“I shouldn't need a fucking card," he whispers, wiping tears away now. He's an emotional boy, he always has been, but he hasn't cried in front of me in a long time. When something upsets him, he tends to take it to his room.

"No, you shouldn't," I agree, knowing that I can't put my arm around him, even though I want to. To pull him close would be to push him away. "But you have one.”
― John Boyne, Air

“I've never given much thought to the fact that it won't be long before I'm back where I started, before I even met Rebecca. It's narcissistic, but the thought flashes through my head that I'm a good man, with a good career. I've kept my body in decent shape, and I'm reasonably attractive. Some might say that I'm a catch. So why the fuck don't I have someone, other than my son, to go home to? Why is is that I haven't had sex in so long? Why have I never been to bed with anyone other than my rapist and my ex-wife?

"Dad," he says, and when I look up, he's staring at me with a concerned expression on his face. "Dad, what's wrong?"

I shake my head, confused by the question. "What?" I ask him. "What do you mean?"

"Dad, you're crying.”
― John Boyne, Air

“The stewardess returns carrying a chocolate muffin in which a single candle has been placed. I stare at it in surprise, then turn to Emmet, who's grinning.

"Happy birthday," he says.

It takes me a moment to appreciate the significance of this. He obviously organized it with her while I slept, and I'm so moved that I feel tears come to my eyes.

"You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you?"

"I wasn't sure."

I make a wish, and, sure enough, the flame disappears.

"Thank you," I say to Emmet as we clink our glasses.

"I'm just glad that you're still mentally competent and can walk unassisted," he tells me. "Considering how ancient you are."

"Forty's not that old!"

"Welcome," he says, stretching his arms wide and doing a more than decent impression of Richard Attenborough, "to Jurassic Park!”
― John Boyne, Air

“The idea of him suffering any sort of pain sends an almost insupportable ache through my body. I want to keep him safe from all of that. In an ideal world, I would keep him young forever, protecting him from all hurt. In that same world, someone would have done that for me. But my training also teaches me that to wrap him in cotton wool will serve only to stifle him and prevent him from growing into the man that he should become. It's a conundrum for me, one that I am struggling to solve.”
― John Boyne, Air

“Sir," says the guard before I can get more than six steps away from him, and I turn around.

"What?" I ask, raising my voice in frustration. "For heaven's sake, what is it now?"

"Haven't you forgotten something?"

I frown, uncertain what he means, then realize Emmet has returned to the very seat where I originally left him. He's put his AirPods in again and probably isn't even thinking about the time. I bark his name and he jumps up, obedient for once, and follows me. I feel a sense of relief when both our boarding passes scan at the desk without further incident.

As we make our way along the gangway toward the plane itself, it occurs to me that he hasn't wished me a happy birthday yet.”
― John Boyne, Air

“I needed to go," he says slowly, as if speaking to someone of limited intelligence, a tone he's increasingly adopted with me in recent times.

"I asked you to wait with the bags."

He rolls his eyes. If this gesture was ever to become an Olympic sport, he'd be Australia's number one hope.

"Can I get some chocolate? I didn't have any breakfast."

"You said you weren't hungry."

"Because you got me out of bed at three in the morning. Of course I wasn't hungry."

I made sure we had everything packed by yesterday afternoon so there would be nothing for either of us to do but take quick showers when our alarms went off, but the taxi still picked us up from North Bondi at three thirty. Neither of us uttered a word on the way to the airport, Emmet wearing completely superfluous sunglasses along with the AirPods that have become my mortal enemy. But it's important not to get the day off to a bad start. We're going to be in each other's company for an extended period and if we're going to survive this trip without killing each other, then it's down to me, as the adult, to adapt to my son's mood swings.”
― John Boyne, Air