Mindful Loving Quotes

“As I learned how to change my perceptions of my marital partner, I saw that my happiness lay not in what I could get from her, but in my choosing more often to love her without expectations of what I might get back. I learned that when I was able to love her without strings attached, she often became more loving, sometimes with her love wrapped in very different-colored packages than I was asking for, yet these new colors were often richer than what I was requesting. I also learned that when I did not do this consistently, I would instantly create pain for myself and often for her. And of great importance, I came to understand her not so much as a separate objective reality, but often as a mirror of my own attitudes, thoughts, and perceptions.”
― Henry Grayson, Mindful Loving

“EGO-BASED MARRIAGE (Disappointment and pain) • Sees marriage as a place to get . . . • Looks for ways to get satisfaction from partner. • Tries to change partner. • Views passion as more important than love. • Discontent with disappointments over unmet expectations. • Sees partner as source of happiness or cause of unhappiness. • Sees self as one to whom things happen in the marriage (victim). • Creates conflict over wants and “needs.” • Operates out of fear. • Sees unloving behavior as an occasion to go into fight or flight. • Holds grudges and complaints; keeps fears and resentments alive. • Consciously or unconsciously creates negative, deprived, or other unhappy state of mind. • Judges differences and tries to change partner to be like oneself.”
― Henry Grayson, Mindful Loving

“The opposite of a spiritually minded person is one who lives from the ego, which wants us to believe that we are powerless, separate from all others, and victims of circumstance. In relationships, the ego-based perspective manipulates, blames, and attacks the other person instead of assuming responsibility. The”
― Henry Grayson, Mindful Loving

“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” —The Talmud”
― Henry Grayson, Mindful Loving