I Funny Quotes

“Two LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… ME!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Never underestimate the power of a good laugh.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“School are plastered with all sorts of NO BULLYING posters. There’s only one problem: Bullies, it turns out, don’t read too much. I guess reading really isn’t a job requirement”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Stevie Kosgrov recently enjoyed a bowl of Fruity Pebbles (with milk that had hit its expiration date, oh, maybe a month ago).”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“course.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“sort of looks like Jabba the Hutt), with about a thousand”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“occasional puke puddle.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Ellen DeGeneres,”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Do zombies eat doughnuts with their fingers?” you might ask. No. They usually eat their fingers separately.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Um, hi.” I finally squeak out a few words. “The other day at school, we had this substitute teacher. Very tough. Sort of like Mrs. Darth Vader. Had the heavy breathing, the deep voice. During roll call, she said, ‘Are you chewing gum, young man?’ And I said, ‘No, I’m Jamie Grimm.’ ” I wait (for what seems like hours) and, yes, the audience kind of chuckles. It’s not a huge laugh, but it’s a start. Okay.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“It’s so old, I think when it opened, Burger King was still a prince.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“If life gives you lemons, learn how to juggle.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Zombies?”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Even the jukebox plays nothing but oldies, mostly”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… ME!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Yes, Stevie Kosgrov makes my new home a living hell.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“BRAINSTORMING! Every night after dinner—which is usually something like tuna noodle casserole made with cream-of-wallpaper soup—I escape to the privacy of my bedroom.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“WITH BROTHERS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“AND NOW—THE GOOD STUFF You look at me, and I know what you’re thinking: “Zac Efron without the hot legs.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID, he just whipped out a quarter?”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“JAMIE TO THE RESCUE!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW

“All I’m saying is that laughing is healthy. A lot healthier than getting socked in the stomach.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story FREE PREVIEW