The Diary of a Nobody Quotes

“I never was so immensely tickled by anything I had ever said before. I actually woke up twice during the night, and laughed till the bed shook.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“What's the good of a home, if you are never in it?”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“Some people seem quite destitute a sense of humour.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“. . . doesn't it seem odd that Gowing's always coming and Cummings' always going?”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“Charlie dear, it is I who have to be proud of you. And I am very, very proud of you. You have called me pretty; and as long as I am pretty in your eyes, I am happy. You, dear old Charlie, are not handsome, but you are good, which is far more noble.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“He said he wouldn’t stay, as he didn’t care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don’t often make jokes.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“I believe I am happy because I am not ambitious.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“He may wear what he likes in the future, for I shall never drive with him again. His conduct was shocking. When we passed Highgate Archway, he tried to pass everything and everybody. He shouted to respectable people who were walking quietly in the road to get out of the way; he flicked at the horse of an old man who was riding, causing it to rear; and, as I had to ride backwards, I was compelled to face a gang of roughs in a donkey-cart, whom Lupin had chaffed, and who turned and followed us for nearly a mile, bellowing, indulging in coarse jokes and laughter, to say nothing of occasionally pelting us with orange-peel.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“It’s concerning you both; for doesn’t it seem odd that Gowing’s always coming and Cummings’ always going?” ”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“I was in hopes that, if anything ever happened to me, the diary would be an endless source of pleasure to you both; to say nothing of the chance of the remuneration which may accrue from its being published.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“I feel it is just within the bounds of possibility that the wheels of your life don’t travel so quickly round as those of the humble writer of these lines.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“Lupin, like Mr. Huttle, has original and sometimes wonderful ideas; but it is those ideas that are so dangerous.  They make men extremely rich or extremely poor.  They make or break men.  I always feel people are happier who live a simple unsophisticated life.  I believe I am happy because I am not ambitious.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“April 22.—I have of late frequently noticed Carrie rubbing her nails a good deal with an instrument, and on asking her what she was doing, she replied: “Oh, I’m going in for manicuring.  It’s all the fashion now.”  I said: “I suppose Mrs. James introduced that into your head.”  Carrie laughingly replied: “Yes; but everyone does it now.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“I told Sarah not to bring up the blanc-mange again for breakfast. It seems to have been placed on our table at every meal since Wednesday… In spite of my instructions, that blanc-mange was brought up again for supper. To make matters worse, there had been an attempt to disguise it, by placing it in a glass dish with jam round it...I told Carrie, when we were alone, if that blanc-mange were placed on the table again I should walk out of the house.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“Why should I not publish my diary? I have often seen reminiscences of people I have never even heard of, and I fail to see—because I do not happen to be a ‘Somebody’—why my diary should not be interesting. My only regret is that I did not commence it when I was a youth.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody: Annotated Edition

“I feel it is just within the bounds of possibility that the wheels of your life don't travel so quickly round as those of the humble writer of these lines”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“but that the invitation didn’t include eatables and drinkables.  A gentleman who was standing at the bar”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“I have lived to be above that sort of thing.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“I intended to convey that our charming host and hostess were superior to the follies of fashion, and preferred leading a simple and wholesome life to gadding about to twopenny-halfpenny tea-drinking afternoons, and living above their incomes.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“Never in my life have I ever been so insulted; the cabman, who was a rough bully and to my thinking not sober, called me every name he could lay his tongue to, and positively seized me by the beard, which he pulled till the tears came into my eyes.  I took the number of a policeman (who witnessed the assault) for not taking the man in charge.  The policeman said he couldn’t interfere, that he had seen no assault, and that people should not ride in cabs without money.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody

“We were rather afraid of the noise of the trains at first, but the landlord said we should not notice them after a bit, and took £2 off the rent.”
― George Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody