Bridesmaid Undercover Quotes

“Oh my God, what did you do to yourself?” she asks. “I said to come in disguise, so I did.” Because I want to give her the full effect, I spin for her while holding my arms out. “You like?” She blinks a few times behind her sunglasses. “Are you…are you wearing a fake nose?” “I am,” I say, touching it. “What do you think?” She studies me, a smile creeping over her face. “You look incredibly predatorial.” “What?” I laugh. “You think I look like a predator?”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“I do,” I say. “I see what Polly and Ken have. I see what Haisley and Jude have. It would be nice to not be so alone. Don’t you feel lonely?” “No,” he says just as there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” he calls out. The door tentatively opens, and Hudson’s new assistant and Jude’s little sister, Sloane, pops her head into the room. “Um, hi, is this an okay time?”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Well, then go to a bar,” she offers. “You’re in San Francisco, not some backwater small town.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“How? I can’t just pick a guy out at the grocery store and say date me. Plus, I hear horror stories about online dating and the apps. Like a ton of ghosting.” She scoffs. “And there are also wonderful stories that come from going that route. It’s a process, Everly. It’s not going to happen overnight.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“construction manager shaking in his boots as Jude examines every last inch of the place.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Okay…right this way, milady.” He pauses and then adds, “No, not milady. Milady is Maggie, and I doubt she’d like me calling anyone else that. Forget the whole milady thing. Right this way, Maple. Not milady, just to be clear, if you’re anyone’s lady, you’re Hardy’s lady.” My eyes nearly pop out of my head, but before I can correct him, he corrects himself. “I mean, no, you’re no one’s lady, you’re your own lady. No one owns you. Woman, yay!”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“So you have that whole Toy Story complex then?” “How can you watch that movie and not assume all of your childhood toys have feelings?”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Thanks,” he says, and then we all stand there, awkward and silent. Timothy smiles at me. I smile at him. Maple smiles at everyone. Hardy smiles at Maple. I shift. Timothy sticks his hands in his pockets. Maple clutches her purse.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Yeah.” He moves his hand over his beard. “Think it’s just going to take some time to get that through my head.” “Then it takes time,” I say. “And that’s okay. Greatness doesn’t happen overnight.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“I mean, I’d appreciate the change in topic—I’m starting to sweat out of sheer horror for someone else,” Brody says.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“To top off the disguise, I strapped on a pair of old, paint-splattered sweatpants, a T-shirt that has a picture of a fish in a top hat, hanging on to a moon, and gathered my wig-hair into a ponytail. I considered adding a Cindy Crawford beauty mark but thought that would be stretching it.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Good,” Vinnie, the Uber driver, says. “You guys comfortable?” Um, well, you see, Vinnie, this man has his hand on my thigh, and I’m not sure what to do with that.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“I’m just not good at this, and since there are no other bridesmaids and the moms are busy planning the wedding, I feel much better that you offer this service.” “Of course,” I say. “It’s my absolute pleasure. I love doing this kind of stuff. I love weddings, and I want you and Polly to have the best time. I think sometimes, as we move through the process of a wedding, we forget that it isn’t just about the bride and the groom—well, it mainly is—but it’s also about those last moments you have with your friends before you’re married, or those last moments with your family, and I think those moments should be cherished. Bridal showers and bachelorette parties offer us the opportunities to almost have that last hurrah before everything changes…if that makes sense.” “You know, I never looked at it that way,” Maple says. “You’re completely right.” “And that’s why I’m here, to make sure you enjoy these planning weeks with Polly but also give her a beautiful party celebrating her and Ken.” Maple smiles. “I can see why Polly was excited about hiring you. You put me at ease right away.” “Just doing my job,” I say with a wink. “Now, would you like to discuss the bridal shower?”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Breaker and Huxley aren’t here yet, so we”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“says. “And I’ve been up for hours thanks to the baby, so please, delight me in dating woes.” He smirks and then picks up a muffin and takes a big bite out of it. “Shit, these are good.” From the corner of my eye, I catch the pride beaming from Hudson over the fact that JP took a muffin. He’s going to rub that in my face later. Can’t wait. But back to me. Maybe discussing my dating woes will bring us closer, and if Hudson complains about me talking about it later, I’ll just mention that. “Well, my best friends are getting married, and Maple, my ex will be there. She’s the maid of honor and I’m the best man, and we’re the only ones in the bridal party. I want to see if there’s anything still between us, but the bride told me to back off because my ex wants nothing to do with me.” JP slowly nods as he takes another bite of his muffin. After chewing for a second, he says, “That’s not going to stop you, is it?” “I mean…should it?” “Considering that we should listen to women more,” Jude puts in. “I think maybe you should stay away.” “Facts,” JP says. “But…what if she does still have feelings, but she’s shielding herself so she doesn’t get hurt? Let me ask you this: How did things end?”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“he’d ask that, especially after I gave him shit for his breakfast spread. Hudson has always thought I should be with Maple. When he found out that we broke up, he chastised me for an entire week about how I was a dumbass and shouldn’t have let her go. And then, of course, periodically throughout the time we’ve been apart, he’s told me to find a way to make up with her. To find her and tell her what an idiot I am, but unfortunately for his little matchmaking heart, our paths never crossed. I don’t blame his persistence though. Everyone saw the connection we had. When we met back in college, there was an instant magnetism between us. At the time, she was majoring in zoology and animal sciences, and as her passion was animal conservation, we spent many dates at the San Francisco Zoo. When she graduated, she got a job at the Denver Zoo where she was a zookeeper for the flamingos, her favorite animal. After a while, she was offered a field job in Peru to conduct research on the Chilean flamingos, observing their patterns to determine why they were endangered. And there was no way I could have followed her to Peru if I hadn’t been able to follow her to Denver. “Maple wasn’t at the party,” I say. “But, apparently, she’s coming back to San Francisco for good.” “Who’s Maple?” Jude asks.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“party?” Of course, he’d ask that, especially after I gave”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“says. “So, did you see Maple at the engagement party?” Of course, he’d ask that, especially after I gave him shit for his breakfast spread. Hudson has always thought I should be with Maple. When he found out that we broke up, he chastised me for an entire week about how I was a dumbass and shouldn’t have let her go. And then, of course, periodically throughout the time we’ve been apart, he’s told me to find a way to make up with her. To find her and tell her what an idiot I am, but unfortunately for his little matchmaking heart, our paths never crossed. I don’t blame his persistence though. Everyone saw the connection we had. When we met back in college, there was an instant magnetism between us. At the time, she was majoring in zoology and animal sciences, and as her passion was animal conservation, we spent many dates at the San Francisco Zoo. When she graduated, she got a job at the Denver Zoo where she was a zookeeper for the flamingos, her favorite animal. After a while, she was offered a field job in Peru to conduct research on the Chilean flamingos, observing their patterns to determine why they were endangered. And there was no way I could have followed her to Peru if I hadn’t been able to follow her to Denver. “Maple wasn’t at the party,” I say. “But, apparently, she’s coming back to San Francisco for good.” “Who’s Maple?” Jude asks.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Maple at the engagement party?” Of course, he’d ask that, especially after I gave him shit for his breakfast spread. Hudson has always thought I should be with Maple. When he found out that we broke up, he chastised me for an entire week about how I was a dumbass and shouldn’t have let her go. And then, of course, periodically throughout the time we’ve been apart, he’s told me to find a way to make up with her. To find her and tell her what an idiot I am, but unfortunately for his little matchmaking heart, our paths never crossed. I don’t blame his persistence though. Everyone saw the connection we had. When we met back in college, there was an instant magnetism between us. At the time, she was majoring in zoology and animal sciences, and as her passion was animal conservation, we spent many dates at the San Francisco Zoo. When she graduated, she got a job at the Denver Zoo where she was a zookeeper for the flamingos, her favorite animal. After a while, she was offered a field job in Peru to conduct research on the Chilean flamingos, observing their patterns to determine why they were endangered. And there was no way I could have followed her to Peru if I hadn’t been able to follow her to Denver. “Maple wasn’t at the party,” I say. “But, apparently, she’s coming back to San Francisco for good.” “Who’s Maple?” Jude asks.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Do you have a close relationship with your parents?” he asks. I can see where this is going so I tread lightly. “Pretty close,” I say. He nods. “What’s that like?” “Umm…” I stand and start collecting our trash from the night. “I guess kind of like having siblings, but older. Especially at this age. Sure, they offer their parental support, but they seem more like people I can go to when I need someone to talk to. Not so much parenting, more like friendship now.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“to grab a Coke Zero.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“I’ve never had just pineapple, it’s always accompanied by ham or pepperoni, but I’m not opposed to this. It’s sweet, and the side of barbeque sauce is a nice surprise.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“The only pussy he should be licking is…well…you know—hint, it’s not a feline.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“I’m going to murder my sister. I hope she enjoys her last meal of chicken parm, breadsticks, and a side salad, because that’s it for her. She will not be seeing another day. And do you know why? One word: Tomothy.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“I love Dolly so much and she’s a gift to this world, but why couldn’t she have sung about working 11–3 instead?”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Mainly because worrying about the what-ifs is never productive.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“From an acquaintance, to a bridesmaid undercover, to a best friend, to my girl, that’s how it will stay.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“Aren’t you depressed?” Polly asks. “Your best friend has lost his chance at an epic ending of a friends-to-lovers romance.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“If my life was a book, readers would be shaking their pages, yelling, “Wake up, idiot! She’s right under your nose.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover

“She wants to be wanted, and that’s what I have to show her. She needs to know that I’ll never want another woman the way I want her.”
― Meghan Quinn, Bridesmaid Undercover