If He Had Been With Me Quotes

“Here is what we'll do," he says. His voice is soft and light, as if we are making the sort of mischievous plan we made as children. "When The Mothers get home, you go to bed early, and when I get back I'll sneak in your back door and come to your room. And then I'll hold you all night.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been With Me

“it starts to rain

"oh autumn" my mother says”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“oh Autumn”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been With Me

“Please, do not try to break down the door. It is too late for you to do anything. Call the police and let them handle this part.

I come into this room and lock the door behind me.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been With Me

“Finny?" I say. There is silence.
"Oh, Autumn," my mother says.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been With Me

“Can I tell you that I love you first?” Finny says.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“things are not always the way they are supposed to be.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“I thought if a name was of unknown origin and meaning, it could not disappoint.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“I know that I love Jamie, but I don’t feel it, and I wonder what it would be like to be with someone else.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Did you mean it when you said you loved me?” I ask. “Of course I did,” he says. “You weren’t just saying that because it’s what the guy’s supposed to say?” He doesn’t answer me after that, and my stomach drops. Finny lets go of me and sits up on one elbow. My breathing halts. “Come on, Autumn,” he says. He makes a sound that isn’t quite a laugh. “I know that you know I’ve been in love with you for forever. You don’t have to pretend.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Finny got his driver’s license on his birthday. Aunt Angelina taught him to drive ages ago. She says he is a good driver, but she is still terrified of him killing himself on the road some night. It’s hard for me to understand how she jumps so quickly from driving to death. Every night, people ride around in cars without dying.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Are you cold?” he says. I nod. It’s bearable though; I may still make it to morning. “Here.” Finny starts to struggle with his letterman jacket. “No, don’t,” I say. This must be what alcohol does to people; it makes them forget all the carefully drawn lines in the world.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“I tell myself relationships are hard work. No one is perfect. There’s no such thing as happily ever after.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Finny’s turn to draw on my back. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the shapes he traced over me. It always tickled, but I never laughed. “Two houses,” I said. “And four people.” “It’s our houses,” he said. “And our family.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Everything okay?” he says. “Yup,” I say. “Isn’t it always?”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Autumn, why are you wearing a Jimmy Carter campaign shirt?’” she asks. “I dunno,” I say. “Why is your son wearing green socks?” She looks back at Finny. “Phineas, are you wearing green socks?” He looks down at his feet. “Well, yeah.” “Where did you get green socks from?” “They were in my sock drawer.” “I never bought you green socks.” “They were in there.” “This all sounds very suspicious to me,” I say.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Finny looks like a Renaissance painting of an angel or like he could belong to some modern royal family. His hair stays blond all winter and looks like gold in the summer.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“I told the class and teacher that my career goal was to move to New York, wear black turtlenecks, and sit in coffee shops all day, thinking deep thoughts and making up stories in my head.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“The year I was ten, I could lay on my back with my feet at one end and my head grazing the other perfectly.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“I nod off after a little while. When I open my eyes again, it’s early afternoon and my room is warm. The cicadas are singing, and the wind is still rustling the trees. I stretch and turn over, and my eyes fall on my laptop. It’s been a long time since I have written [...] I walk across the floor, my bare feet feeling the sun-warmed wood under me, and I sit down. [...] I have a new vision, a new structure for the story. I’m ready to write something honest. Soon, the only sound is the clacking of my keyboard, and then that is gone too, and all I can hear are the voices in my head.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been With Me

“You still love me,” I say. “You just can’t feel it right now. Sometimes that happens to me, and I just wait and it always comes back. I don’t break up with you. I just give it time.” He shakes his head again. He sighs. I wait.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been With Me

“I love Jamie just as much as I always have. My love for Finny is buried like a stillborn child; it is just as cherished and just as real, but nothing will ever come of it. I imagine it wrapped up in lace, tucked away in a quiet corner of my heart. It will stay there for the rest of my life, and when I die, it will die with me.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been With Me

“Then everything is going to be okay. We're together now. Right?"
"Of course."
Again, Finny laughs at me. I pull my face away from his and look at him.
"I never, ever thought this would happen," he says. "And then you say 'of course' like it's the most natural thing in the world."
"Doesn't it feel like it?"
He laughs again, quietly this time, and the tone is different. "How did we ever get here?" he says. I don't know what to say to that. So I just look at him. And then he smiles at me and pulls me toward him again, and I sit on his lap with his arms around me and it is the most natural thing in the world.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“And you're so beautiful," he says. I duck my head back down and try to hide my face. My cheeks are warm. Finny laughs. "Now, I know you already knew that."
"It's different when you say it." He laughs again.
"How?"
"I don't know."
"You're so beautiful.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“But if I have the chance to be with you—God, Autumn, you're the ideal I've judged every other girl by my whole life. You're funny and smart and weird. I never know what's gonna come out of your mouth or what you're gonna do. I love that. You. I love you.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Phineas Smith, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“It's you and me now, right?”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“She's not really like what you think. And she needed me to take care of her when you didn't anymore. I loved her, but I loved her differently from the way I've always loved you.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“And all these years I was terrified that you could tell I still...you know."
"Still what?" I ask.
"Still wanted you.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me

“Autumn?" he says. He looks down at my face.
"I love you too," I say. "I forgot to tell you.”
― Laura Nowlin, If He Had Been with Me