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If He Had Been with Me
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If He Had Been with Me

4.06  ·  Rating details ·  23,761 ratings  ·  4,095 reviews
If he had been with me everything would have been different...

I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the
Paperback, 330 pages
Published April 1st 2013 by Sourcebooks Fire
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Julia McCurley It is. I am pretty sure is in kindle unlimited.

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Average rating 4.06  · 
Rating details
 ·  23,761 ratings  ·  4,095 reviews

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Laura Nowlin
Aug 29, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Yes. I'm rating my own book five stars. All mothers think their babies are perfect. ...more
Apr 08, 2013 rated it it was amazing

If He Had Been With Me was a poignant story which I devoured in one sitting. It’s a story which deals with issues of friendship, first loves and family in the most raw and intense way I have come across in a long time. It was a story which I knew how would end, but I was utterly mesmerised into reading because of the beautiful heart rendering prose.

The story opens with the most heart breaking chapter, it gives you an insight into how things end. Despite knowing this I continually tried to bury t
Zemira Warner
Wow. I did not expected it to be this good. Damn you Laura Nowlin! I will stalk you till you give me a new book!

If He Had Been With Me was on my 'can't wait' list for months and I couldn't resist and read it the moment I got my hands on it. I started reading in the morning and didn't put it down until I was done crying because I had a feeling someone stabbed me in the heart even though the book started with the most unpleasant thing than can happen. I chose to ignore it. There was just no way t
Hannah ◇ReaderintheRough◇
"Perhaps he would ask me what books mean to me. I would tell him that it means living another life."

This book was so uncomfortable to read. The metamorphosis of Autumn runs parallel to my own teen years.

This book didn't feel like another life, it felt like an alternate universe of my own. Not because I had a boyfriend I didn't appreciate, or a boy that I loved and didn't deserve. Because I asked the same questions, showered until I was numb, craved books because I couldn't stand my own actio
Jul 03, 2021 rated it really liked it
this book got me fucked up bye. 3.5 ⭐️


I’m literally quite mad at this book. THIS BOOK IS SO MUCH WORK FOR THE LAST FEW PAGES!!!

And I’m also even more mad because there are some sweet quotes here about August’s POV when it comes to how she views Finn and how she feels about him but it’s also buried in all the other mundane parts of the book. I understand that it’s all a set up and I can totally see how it contributes to piecing the last twenty to thirty pages or so of the book (which ar
Jennifer Kyle
Oct 31, 2012 rated it liked it
This book could have been epic...


The beautiful cover and the description of this book lured me in and I couldn’t wait to read this story. I knew from the description, that a tragedy would occur. I was more than prepared to take the journey and meet Autumn and Finny. The part that I wasn’t prepared for was the abrupt anticlimactic ending.

The story brings a reader through four years of high school with the back ground of Finn and Autumn’s neighbor/best friend/family relationship that has now be
It has been a long time since I have fallen so hard for a contemporary YA novel. I have barely heard of any buzz surrounding Laura Nowlin's debut. I ordered it on a whim, not really sure what to expect. I liked the cover, the premise sounded like my kind of thing and I always like the chase of finding a YA book free of preconceived hopes and praise.

I was unprepared for just how good this book is, easily my favourite YA book of the year so far and it now sits on my favourites shelf.

Nowlin is a
Cortney LaScola Hornyak -  The Bookworm Myrtle Beach
I'm really confused as to how this book has such a high rating. It was mundane and repetitious, the main character was annoying, and the writing wasn't very good.

And I swear, if I knew she called him "Finny" I never would have picked up this book.

2 very bored and unethusiastic stars
*P*u*r*p*l*e* Masochist
Dear Book,

you broke my heart. I hate you and adore you at the same time and I definitely won't forget you for a long time...
Review to come...
Sofii♡ (A Book. A Thought.)
Omg my heart!


This has been a roller coaster of emotions for me, I mean, literally.

At one point it was fine and then angry, then frustrated, then sad and happy and nfjdsnfkjd, I could not with my temperament on several occasions, especially with the decision of Autumn and their behavior I did not understand why she was taking it.

But besides that and I have cast me angry sometimes lol, I really liked this book, the story is good quality and keeps you trapped all the time, I'm not a contemporary
angelica ༅:*゚
That’s it, I’m done. My eyes are sore from how much I cried during that ending. I’m never gonna recover from this book.
Jun 19, 2021 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
that ending was a dumpster fire
Sep 28, 2022 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Human nature is to question, pull back, and hold on to quiet insecurities. It's the reality of life.

If He Had Been with Me was doomed from the first page. I knew it would be a heartbreaking read, but I kept going. A story of missed opportunities, misunderstandings, and taking a chance.

Finny and Autumn, best friends, neighbors, soul mates. The journey of their lives, focused mostly on their high school years.

As soon as they are in high school, things change. They no longer have best friend sl
Jun 13, 2015 rated it really liked it

If you're wondering, I didn't cry. But it's not because I'm a callous, unemotional bitch. I'm just so over that now and crying doesn't even come close to what I want to do.

I want to hit someone, burn/throw something, scream, go lock myself in a very dark room and just confine myself to that space for a very very long time.

Don't you get it, this book has totally KILLED me. My chest
Jovana (NovelOnMyMind)
I cannot hear her, but I see Sylvie tell them the cause of the argument, and I know, I know, I know, I know. If he had been with me, everything would have been different.

Someone somewhere said this book was pretty much the YA version of Colleen Hoover, and that got me instantly intrigued. Plus, the cover is really gorgeous, so naturally I had to check it out.

And for the most part, the book was exactly what I expected it to be. A YA romance and coming of age. Lots of drama and problem
May 09, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
i think it takes a really sick person to write a book knowing it will destroy the hearts of so many people. that's all i have to say. thanks for coming to my ted talk. ...more
Paige  Bookdragon


The saddest word in the English dictionary.


No, wait. I'm not okay.


If there's one thing that I can proudly say about If He Had Been with Me, it's that it can make you sad. I wouldn't normally like this book because "bestfriends, highschool, drama and first love" are the key words that let me know that I will soon be frustrated with what I am reading.

But that was not the case with this book.

I love this. I devoured it in one sitting and though it didn't shatter my already cynical heart
Jun 26, 2021 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-romance
i honestly have no words for the amount of emotional torture this book put me through. none. N A D A. did i want to curl up into a ball in the corner of my room and die because of how painful it was? yes, yes i did.

you can tell from the summary and the prologue of this book that it’s not going to be pretty. so the entire time i was reading, i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and put me out of my misery. unfortunately, when the time came, i was basically living in misery.

the last few cha
~ 1.0 stars ~

I had such high expectations for this one. Gah. And this is why, you never let your expectations go too high. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.

(Oh wait, I'm not done.) If He Had Been with Me's premise was so interesting. We already knew how it ended, but we didn't know the journey to the end. But, alas, the premise doesn't live up to the book.

"This is friendship, and it is love, but I already know what they have not learned yet; how dangerous friendship is, how damaging lov
Apr 07, 2013 rated it it was ok
It's almost 3AM and I am reeling from my reading experience. How to even begin?

Last I left the book I was more than halfway through. I thought I could definitely finish this "tomorrow", but I meant like tomorrow afternoon. Well it literally is "tomorrow" since it's the 13th of April. 3AM.

So since it's apparently hard to put down (it's really easy to read), why do I only want to rate this 2 stars? Well, 2.5 stars. 2 stars means it was okay. I had such good hopes for this. I actually felt like I
Reading this book was like listening most hauntingly beautiful and sad song. You know it will make you sad and leave you heartbroken, but you can´t stop even if it hurts.
We, masochistic readers, we know it, we understand it... and still, we do it. All we can do is suffer the pain, and tell ourselves it was well worth it. Sad things can be beautiful. That´s exactly what Autumn said and noone understood her.
Well, Autumn and Ms Nowlin, we understand you and we appreciate the pain.
It was well wor
Dora Koutsoukou
I had the best intentions and high expectations for this story.

Unfortunately, there was a lot of dragging, nothing remarkable was happening. The characters felt flat, I couldn’t connect with the heroine in the least and the story was uneventful. The plot was almost nonexistent!
Development and depth were fully absent.

I was so bored with the descriptions of the heroine’s life through either school or high school.
Any relationship formed. was lifeless and uninteresting.
I didn’t like the writing
❋ Sylvia ❋
Oct 25, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: april-2013
I don't know where to start....

I knew this book would bring me to tears and that it has, but only the last couple of chapters.
I enjoyed this book, getting to know the characters inside and out,but with a book like this you know the end isn't going to end well, mainly cause the first chapter tells you so...

I was..... am heartbroken as I write this, still swiping tears away.

If you are a fan of the "love me with lies" series then you will love this book, it has the same edge to it and flow, it wi
Booktastically Amazing
Let me let you in a secret...

I am broken and happy and sad and conflicted and I hate everything, but I also love everything, and I feel like I'm being killed from the inside-limbs cracking, veins bursting, bones disintegrating- yet I feel alive but not, it's just-


Rating: ✨✨✨✨3.7

I don't know what to think.
I don't even know what to feel.
This thing felt eternal.
Then it didn't.
Then it went TOO FAST-
Then it s
Actual Rating: 2.5/5 stars

I was actually enjoying this book despite it's not very unique storyline. I cared about the characters. The romance was SO good that this book could've been a new favorite of mine but..

The ending just ruined everything, really. For me, anyway. I wished I didn't read that part.

The plot:

Autumn and Finny are best friends since birth, literally. "The Mothers", as they call them, are also best friends so they were with each other before they're even born. As they grew up, th
The Girl with the Sagittarius Tattoo
I could not put this down. Although the narrator was often frustrating, parts of this were so authentic to my own teenage insecurity and experiences.

Autumn and Phineas are starting high school. Born a week apart to next-door-neighbors, these two began life sharing a crib and they've spent every day together since. Autumn is beautiful, smart and quirky. Finny is athletic, thoughtful and protective of Autumn. Everyone expects them to fall in love one day, but something happened in middle school th
Kati ☆ *・゚ readsRomance
There is no other book on my shelves that crushed me like this did. It's been almost a year since I finished it and it still squeezes my heart painfully thinking of it.

Shattered dreams, a stolen future and a broken heart that might not ever heal.

I thought about this book a long time after my tears finally dried. About Autumn & Finn, about all the lost moments, the times they were happy and about what could've been if he had been with her.

All my love for these two young people and what they have
Oct 21, 2013 rated it did not like it
I'm Autumn and I’m smart and edgy and unusual. My mother married her high school sweetheart and now spends her time in a seemingly loveless marriage to a man who’s absent most of the time. So, guess what my plans are. You got it, I’m going to marry the boy I met the first day of high school, (after college of course) buy a house, raise kids and become a teacher, even though I’d rather be a writer and everyone assures me that I’m really talented. But, I just couldn’t expect my awesome, handsome, ...more
Apr 09, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: moved-my-soul
It’s a pattern.

Every time around this time of the year, I find myself drifting away from my reading and reviewing obsession. It’s not because I want to. It’s because circumstances around me eventually make me. It’s the start of summer here. And there are SO MANY things to do! There are those annual fests and functions to be part of. Lots of camping to do. Lots of catching up to do with my family and there is lots of travelling. Amidst it all, my reading just falls behind and then I don’t even f
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Laura Nowlin holds a B.A. in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing from Missouri State University. . In addition to being ambitious writer Laura is also an avid reader who believes that books allow her to live many lives in one lifetime. When she isn’t at home agonizing over her own novels Laura works at the public library where the patrons give her plenty of inspiration for her writing. Sh ...more

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“I've loved him my whole life, and somewhere along the way, that love didn't change but grew. It grew to fill the parts of me that I did not have when I was a child. It grew with every new longing of my body and desire until there was not a piece of me that did not love him. And when I look at him, there is no other feeling in me.” 114 likes
“This book is a treasure; I did not suspect it would be so good when I picked it up, but now I can feel the printed words seeping through my skin and into my veins, rushing to my heart and marking it forever.

I want to savor this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again.”
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