Of Dice and Men Quotes

“Every rule, every chart, every geeky statistic in a game book or module feeds into this impulse. All those details allow us to take apart existence, look at the individual parts, figure out how they work, and put them back together. Some people relieve stress by getting drunk or high and losing control; nerds find comfort by taking control and applying structure. Logic is like a warm blanket.”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and the People Who Play It

“If Clue was played like D&D, you could grab the lead pipe, beat a confession out of Colonel Mustard, and have sex with Miss scarlet on the desk in the conservatory.”
― David Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and the People Who Play It

“You won’t often find a party consisting entirely of bards, and not just because it would be the most annoying group ever.”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who

“I'm no wizard- but once a week, I feel like I am. Role-playing games allow me to experience the fantastic, and even though it's make-believe, the catharsis is real. My life isn't wanting for magic, because I've got Dungeons & Dragons.”
― David Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and the People Who Play It

“This is indeed only a game, but it is a game of life and death!” the Reverend John Hollidge of Gold Hill Baptist Church in Buckinghamshire said in a letter to parents.”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who

“Arrogant Nerd syndrome, a disorder where smart people hide their insecurities and fear through intellectual bullying, and seek to preempt condemnation by judging other people first and finding them inferior.”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who

“The fifth edition simplifies and rationalizes D&D in key ways. Breaking down a door is a great example: When Angela wanted to throw her weight around, Willi asked for her strength score—and figured it was high enough to get the job done. “The idea is if you are not rushed, and there’s really no danger, we simply look at it and say anyone with a strength of fifteen or above can open it,” Willi said. “If you are being chased by a horde of goblins and it’s important to get in the door in a rush, then I might make you roll. But generally, it’s the DM’s prerogative.” Compare that to the 3.5 edition rules, which are rather more complicated. First, the player may attempt to smash the door open with a Strength check. They roll a d20 and add their strength bonus. Then the DM checks a table5 that lists different kinds of doors (simple wooden, good wooden, strong wooden, stone, iron, wooden portcullis, iron portcullis) and determines the door’s breaking point. If the player scored higher than that number, they’re through. If not, they’ve got a long way to go. Next, the DM figures out the door’s armor class (10, plus a modifier based on its size, and minus 2 because it’s an inanimate object). Then the player has to fight the door like it’s an opposing monster. They attack, and if the attack roll is higher than the door’s AC, they do damage—but not before the DM goes back to his tables and figures out the door’s hardness. Hardness reduces damage, so if you hit for 9 points of damage against a stone door with a hardness of 8, you really only do 1 point of damage . . . and at that rate, you’ll have to hit the door another sixty times before you eventually smash the thing to pieces. Or, more likely, you toss the stupid rule book under the couch and go play video games instead.”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who

“Mornard remembers a small action that had a very big effect: When one of Arneson’s players decided he wanted his character to be a vampire, another said he would like to play a vampire hunter. “They had to figure out what a vampire hunter would be like in the game,” says Mornard. “So, to counter the vampire, they gave him healing powers. That sort of became the template for the cleric. It was a counterpoint to the vampire.” Today, clerics aren’t just one of the core D&D character classes—they’re a full-blown fantasy archetype, appearing in countless novels, films, and video games. Some random guy in small-town Wisconsin decided to screw with his buddy, and forty years later two hundred million gamers are playing with the result.5”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who

“Emphasize priorities with your players,” he said. “We all have, especially in this day and age, a very limited amount of time. So when you sit down at a gaming table, don’t waste time on trivialities. Don’t get bogged down in rule arguments. Resolve them equitably and quickly and keep things moving.”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who

“Gamers who wish to argue the superiority of their own favored edition are advised to write a letter detailing their position, put it in an envelope, and then stick it where the Sunburst spell1 don’t shine.”
― David M. Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who

“For generations, four minutes was thought to represent an intrinsic physiological limit, as if muscles could inherently not be made to move any faster or lungs breathe any deeper. What Bannister proved was that such notions about intrinsic boundaries are mythical. What he broke permanently was not a limit, but the idea of limits.”
― David Ewalt, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and the People Who Play It