The Big Chunk of Ice Quotes

“The professor pointed out how he could drop a keel and a propeller into the water, in case he came down at sea, and after cutting the gas bag loose he'd have a seaworthy boat. He had everything on board for survival at sea, including fancy fishing gear, flares and weather balloons for distress signals, and both shortwave radio equipment and a low-frequency system for round-the-world communications.
"Boy! This is somethin' right out of Jules Verne...only better, maybe," said Homer.
You are right, Mr. Snodgrass," said the professor. "It is ze only way to travel. You don't go so fast, but it beats swimming! Yes? And we have everysing for safety and comfort at sea, if we have to come down. Ze only thing we have to worry about is piranhas. Oh, zey are terrible! Zey will eat everysing in sight!"
"Piranhas?" Homer gasped. "I thought they were only found in South American Rivers?"
"Oh?" said the professor. "Do ze piranhas know zat, Mr. Snodgrass?”
― Bertrand R. Brinley, The Big Chunk of Ice: The Last Known Adventure of the Mad Scientists' Club

“How do you spell 'solicitor'?" asked Freddy.
"That's easy!" said Homer. "S-o-l-i-t-o-r."
"Well, it can't be all that easy," said Freddy. "These dummies have it spelled with an 'e' on this card." And he held the card under Homer's nose.
"I smell something funny!" Jeff said to me, very quietly.
"It couldn't be Mr. Stunkard, could it?" I half whispered.
Jeff shrugged. "Maybe it's Mr. Smellow!”
― Bertrand R. Brinley, The Big Chunk of Ice: The Last Known Adventure of the Mad Scientists' Club

“Anyway, zis is Austria. Now somesing else funny! Ze Austrians do not call it 'Austria.' Zey call it O-s-t-e-r-r-e-i-c-h!" and the professor wrote the letters out on the blackboard. "Zat is because zey do not know how to spell. Zey are very nice people, se Austrians, but you will notice zey are very bad spellers.”
― Bertrand R. Brinley, The Big Chunk of Ice: The Last Known Adventure of the Mad Scientists' Club