Pop Goes the Weasel Quotes

“It’s my spider, Jeffrey. He’s a tarantula.”
“Yes, he certainly seems to be.”
“He’s my pet.”
“Better you than me. I’m not overly fond of spiders. Too many
legs.”
“No,” Ernie said simply, “he’s got the right number.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pop Goes the Weasel

“Sounds good. What sort of fun did you
have in mind?”
I rubbed my nose against his. “It’s kind of like putting together
toys on Christmas morning. You have to insert dowel rod A into slot B
until it fits firmly….”
“Oh, yes?”
“…and then you move things around until you break something
and make a big mess.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pop Goes the Weasel

“If I’m to be a ghost,” I told Caps, “I’m not haunting your aunt’s gloomy old place. I’d choose someplace livelier, more fun.”
　　“Such as?”
　　“A gay bar, of course.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pop Goes the Weasel

“There are good kissers and bad kissers. Good kisser: Tony.
Sweet, passionate, and his lips make every nerve in your body stand
up and go, “Hey, what’s this? What’s going on, and can we make it go
on longer?” And then there are your bad kissers. Case in point: Tyler
Kendrick. My mouth thought it was being attacked by a squid. Big,
freaky tongue forcing its way into my mouth like the villain in a
Western movie coming through the saloon doors with a swagger. Too
much saliva, and in all the wrong places. Honestly, during a kiss your
cheeks should remain relatively dry.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pop Goes the Weasel

“I’d like to put that day off as long as possible. You saw the guy
at dinner. He’s Satan without the horns. Hitler used to get advice on
how to be nasty from him.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pop Goes the Weasel

“The room was deathly quiet. Maybe because I was holding my
breath. You know that feeling you get when you know you’re doing
something that you shouldn’t be doing but you’re doing it anyway? I
felt that if someone were to sneak up behind me and go “Boo” that
my heart would say “Fuck it” and just stop beating.
I told myself to think of something else. Think of that gorgeous
young man who had served us at dinner. Think of how he’d look
naked. Okay, maybe don’t think of that. The only thing worse than
being found in someone else’s room rifling through their things would
be to be found in someone else’s room pleasuring yourself.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pop Goes the Weasel