Rick Bet Blank Quotes

“A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t need it.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be lodged inside a home to provide comfort, stability, hope, change, and audacity. Oh gosh! Sorry about the last three—I was in my political bullshit mode again.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used as a stamp on a letter, to increase the weight and boost the cost and profitability of the postal service. It would be government efficiency at its finest. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A jet may be perfect for breaking the speed of sound, but a brick is designed to break the speed of silence. Just listen to that quietness.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“Issues need to be addressed. So do boxes of bricks that need to be mailed. Make the shipping label out to Kat Nelb, 2332 Blanket Anagram Way, Jacksonville, Fl 3223.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“Bricks, bricks, and bricks could be given away at the Olympics, instead of gold, silver, and bronze medals. If all a champion wants is to win, then I’ll take all that unnecessary gold and silver off the international community’s hands. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“Lay on me, and let my heat escape up to you, while you’ll act as my insulation and blanket.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A blanket could be used instead of a blindfold when kidnapping someone. And the trunk of your car could be rented out like a cheap motel room to a midget.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“Blanket could be used to form a new word—tenkalb—which in turn could be used, or not used at all. But that’s not so bad, because many words aren’t used at all. Like the word drimorious, for example, which means “An honest politician.” Actually, not only does the word “drimorious” not exist, but neither does an honest politician. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A blanket could be used to trap my love in, before it dissipates out into the world.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A blanket could be used to catch a hippopotamus. But you try it out first, and let me know if it works. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“Blankets are covers, covering the sins of my fathers. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used as a comb, if you’re bald and have no hair.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, to cover up illicit brick deals done under the table.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“When you see my skill with a brick, you’ll think I’m skilled under the blanket. But I’m not.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used to raise my spirits. I’m feeling low right now, low by about three inches.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used to measure water levels through what scientists call hydrostatics. If you throw a brick into the ocean, you’ll have proof that sea levels are rising globally. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be grown on a tree, much like an apple or money, so that maybe humanity could achieve world peace—starting with not killing innocent fruits and vegetables.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be held in one hand, and a stack of dollar bills in the other, to illustrate the difference in weight between the real and the imaginary. The imaginary only weighs more when you believe in it, and then once you stop believing in it, it weighs next to nothing. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be planted on a farm, in the hopes that a house will spring up come harvest. But that idea is ridiculous, because we’re in a drought, and there simply hasn’t been enough rain to yield a crop of that magnitude.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick is a polarizing object. Especially if you find it at either the North or the South Pole. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be strapped to the back of a pet gerbil, to teach it how to swim. That’s how I learned to swim. Grandpa glued a gerbil to my back, dropped me off in the middle of Lake Erie, and told me he expected both of us back for dinner the following night. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used to symbolize my fear. You may snicker and call me an irrational coward, but many people are afraid of spiders, and my fear, the brick, is a killer of spiders. Is it not reasonable to be afraid of what you’re afraid of is afraid of? 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick and a blanket could be combined to create a blink. And a half a blink, as we all know, is a wink. A wink and a smile might be enough to get you back to my blanket. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used as a thick bumper sticker. Then if you get in a crash, you can blame it on the housing market and the element of irrational exuberance created by Alan Greenspan. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used as a hammer. A brick could be both a tool and a building material in the construction of a mansion. That’s like having an engineer design secret tunnels in your palace, and then burying him in the foundation’s cement, to strengthen the integrity of the structure, and also ensure his integrity on the matter of secrecy by burying the secrets to the fortress along with his corpse. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A blanket could be used as a cat. Wait, I have that backwards. A cat could be used as a blanket.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“If I were a mad scientist, I’d use a brick in an angry way. And if I were a mad scientist, I’d use it in a diabolically clever way. Probably I’d use the brick, in conjunction with a blanket, to create an army of clones to take over Wall Street—and therefore the world.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“Error is to err, as blanket is to blank.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank

“A brick could be used in a smash and grab. Well, at least in the smashing aspect. A blanket would be more suited to the grab role.
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― Jarod Kintz, Rick Bet Blank