The Big Book of Girl Stuff Quotes

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“The two girls sit and face each other. One girl will apply makeup to the other’s face, but the trick is that the girl applying the makeup has to do it blindfolded! That’s why it’s important that the makeup be safe to use on the face, especially if it accidentally gets on the lips or eyes. The audience can gather around and watch (no hints!) as the blindfolded girl applies makeup. When she’s done, the two girls switch roles, but nobody is allowed to look in the mirror until both are done. Then they can look! Option:”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?”     —Rita Rudner Long”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick”
― Gwyneth Paltrow, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.”
― Laurie Kylansky, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Some people don’t think that women in the military can kill if they get into a fight. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.’”     —Elayne Boosler The”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“*When Queen Elizabeth I (1533–1603) found out who had published a nasty pamphlet about her, she had the authors’ right hands cut off. Now there’s an idea! (Or not.) For the moment, let’s say that a Mean Girl is treating you”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“No Kidding! Don’t you hate it when a Mean Girl says something mean, and then adds, “Just kidding.” Like that helps!”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“You: Why did you pick my first name? Your dad: I don’t remember. You: I see. Can you give me an example of something else you can’t remember? Your dad: Uh . . . what? You: Did you like the sound of my name? Your dad: Yes. Your name rhymes with platypus, and that has always been one of our favorite animals.”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Dolphins. They think they’re so cute. Oh, look at me, I’m a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you.”     —Chum in Finding Nemo”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Dancing en pointe, or up on the toes, was not originally part of ballet. It came about in the early 1800s as a way of making the dancers appear lighter and more graceful. The”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“I hope you will leave the world a better place than you found it.”     —Jane Yolen”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“*The Statue of Liberty wears size 879 shoes!”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Always accept all compliments. Ignore any other remarks.”     —Kay Oss”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“A girl has shorter vocal cords than a boy, so it actually takes less effort for her to talk. As for boys‚ their vocal cords double in length during puberty. This can make it a lot of work for them to spit something out! Guys are four times more likely than girls to have a stuttering problem. So, because many boys aren’t as good at talking as girls, they do less of it.”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Friends are like bras: Close to your heart and there for your support!”     —Emily Glitter”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Oreo hug, where two people hug a person in between them.”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“POS: Parent over shoulder”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“UR O-O: You are cool”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“KAMU: Kiss and make up”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“ILUVUMED: I love you more each day”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Porta-Potty Tip: Breathe through your mouth. AND DON’T LOOK DOWN.”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“In the 1500s, it was a crime to be caught kissing in Naples, Italy. The punishment? Death!”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“He rejected me! I am so hurt and mad. Can I destroy him?”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Crisscross, applesauce, I hate boys!”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“Q. How does flirting work? A. The simplest and least embarrassing way to flirt is just to make eye contact with that special someone. Then hold the look for around two seconds. (That’s an eternity in flirt time!) Going too much longer turns it into a staring contest, which is sort of weird and NOT flirting anymore. While you’re making eye contact, smile. Then look away. That’s flirting!”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“In 2005, Abercrombie & Fitch ran an ad campaign like this and sold T-shirts with mottos like “Who needs brains when you have these?” and “Blondes Are Adored, Brunettes Are Ignored.”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff

“~(8(l) Homer Simpson”
― Bart King, The Big Book of Girl Stuff