Brick and Blanket Quotes

“One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right?
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick on a stick could be licked like a lollipop.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. I’ll take the two largest pieces, or half, whichever makes me appear the most generous.”
― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is why somebody would want to stop a door, since doors represent openness. What is that person hiding behind that door that they want to stop people from opening it up? I don’t know, but it’s got to be diabolical, and if anything is to be stopped, it’s not the door—it’s the evil plan by the Door Master to take over the world.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be used to send a message. The quickest way to send it would be through the air, and it would make more of an impact than an email or a text message.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve rigid nonthinkers here.” So the brick and the pastor look at the politician, who turns around and leaves.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A blanket could be used to suppress yawns. Just curl up in the technological wonder that is a blanket, lay your head back, and let the miracle of science cure your yawns.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick is a good object to hide a house key under. No burglar will be able to get to your key, especially if you hide it under the first brick the mason’s lay when constructing your house. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A blanket could be used to wrap up a case.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be used to keep thieves away from your house. Just set a brick outside your front door, and you won’t need any additional security. Years will go by and nobody will steal the brick. And because the brick won’t get stolen, it’s proof that it deterred thieves from approaching your property.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be used to keep you three inches away from death.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be shoved in your buttocks. You know, for your enjoyment.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a brick too?
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick represents my rationality, and a blanket represents my emotions. It’s robot versus mannequin, and to get a sense of who I am as a person, you need some mortar and a pillow.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the shards. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A blanket could represent change, and a brick represents consistency. Do you embrace the blanket, or the brick?
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and the participant made off with the money without completing the study.”
― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.”
― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid, and inflexible? If yes, are you in the military? If no, why are you acting like a brick?
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size of the 1980s.”
― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick can be used to represent a ruin, or the beginning of new construction. With a brick, the past is the future.
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could have been used as a father figure in place of my dad when I was growing up, because a brick may be dumb, but at least it isn’t dumb and interfering in its absence. By not being a part of my life, my dad became a big part of my life, because my thoughts were influenced by his image and infused with fantasy as I attempted to alter the reality that he wanted little to do with me. And what else would you call not wanting to be a part of your son’s life but dumb? So this Father’s Day, I’m drinking to the dad I never had—a brick. 
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket

“A brick could be wrapped in plastic and sold individually to toddlers as toys. (Warning: Bricks can be harmful if swallowed. If ingested, please contact a physician first, and then the manager of a circus.)
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― Jarod Kintz, Brick and Blanket