The Third Wheel Quotes

“He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them.
If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a frog, I'm willing to take their word for it.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“I started worrying that maybe you only get a certain number of prayers answered in you lifetime and I'm burning through mine too fast. I'd hate to find out later on that I used up all my chits, because I've been acting like I've got an unlimited supply.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them.
If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a grog, I'm willing to take their word for it.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“I probably should've thought about talking to Uncle Gary a lot earlier. He's been married something like four times already, so he's an EXPERT on relationships.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“got the money from Dad, Uncle Gary bought up the guy ’ s T-shirts. But what Uncle Gary didn ’t know was that the T-shirts had a typo on them and, by the time he noticed the problem, the guy was already gone. Uncle Gary told Dad he needs a place to stay until he can get on his feet again. Dad didn ’t seem too happy about that, but by then Mom was downstairs, and she told Uncle Gary he can”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel

“the dessert bar, they have an ice-cream dispenser”
― Jeff Kinney, The Third Wheel