A Tale of Two Vampires Quotes

“Here's the thing about horses--evidently if they hang out together a lot, they buy into this whole "best friends forever" thing, and when one of them suddenly bolts, the other feels obligated to join in the fun and frolics.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires

“Io. My name is Io." She pronounced the name "eye-oh" as if there perfectly ordinary. Which was ridiculous, because no one he knew bore a name with only vowels.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires

“Men of intellect did not, as a rule, bring home stray women who insisted on flinging themselves on horses.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires

“Take a look at my face. Do you see my expression? Does it scare you? It should, because this is the expression of a woman who's fallen off a horse too many times to put up with more shenanigans of the verbal variety.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires

“I didn't say he wasn't a good employer, just that he's not going to be awarded a Sane Person of the Year award.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires

“Are you planning on asking my daughter's permission to ravish me as I deserve? If so, please take heed when she informs you that I am lonely and need a woman in my life. She's been nagging me for the last five years to find one."

"In your dreams, bat boy.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires

“And you can just stop that right now, too."

"Stop what?"

"That," Io pointed at his crotch, "You're getting all bulgy, and I resent your penis's implication that I'm doing something to arouse you. Unless you're some sort of weirdo who gets off by women saying the word 'penis' which is frankly kinda sad.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires

“Women.... They insist on being loving and kind and caring, and why do they do that? To make a man feel guilty, that's why. And then they lure innocent men who are busy with important scientific research into impregnating them, and then said busy men end up caring about said spawn. And these ladies smell good, too. Deliberately. The wenches.”
― Katie MacAlister, A Tale of Two Vampires