Death and the Girl Next Door Quotes

“If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay decomposing for several decades until they're accidentally discovered by some guy on a journey to awaken his spirit at the Salinas Pueblo Missions, can I have your iMac?"
I gaped at her. "You've really thought this out.
"I love your iMac."
"I love my iMac too, and you're not getting her."
"But you'll be decomposing.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“That boy needs a hobby."
"Stalking is a hobby."
"So is serial killing.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.:
Glitch snorted. "More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit."
"Well, you are pretty fruity.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Looks like macho boy's cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“I know," he said in almost bored contemplation. "My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood."
"I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“And," Amber said, practically drooling as she ogled him, "it's tradition for new arrivals to help with the pep rally."
Brooklyn quirked her lips in doubt. "Tradition?"
"It's a new tradition," Amber shot back.
"Clearly the deeper meaning of the word has escaped you.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Trust me," Cameron cut in, "there ain't a thing wrong with those two unless you count the unusual and exquisite length of their legs.
Brooklyn turned a tight-lipped smile on him. "Thanks so much for that penis-driven observation.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“I've been thinking," Brooklyn said as I gawked at the god sitting next to me, "if you get all lovey-dovey and decide to elope to Las Vegas where Jared uses his powers to clean up at the poker tables and you guys buy a mansion in the Manzano Mountains with twenty-seven rooms and decide - because you're rich and all - to buy a new computer, can I have your iMac then?"
"Um, no, you're not getting my iMac."
"Dang.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Least he's committed," I offered.
"Or needs to be.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick...”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Turtles are not the innocent, harmless creatures everyone thinks they are. Mark my words. They’re secretly planning to take over the world. And then where will we be?”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Even a broken clock is right twice a day. It was bound to happen eventually.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“We’ve been through this, remember? I’m totally open.” He stretched his arms wide to prove it. “I’m an open book, an open door, an open sign that blinks in red and blue neon.”
“Your fly’s open too,” Cameron said.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Even from a distance you burn, you scorch anyone who gets too close.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“Clearly you do not understand the innate intricacies and often illogical drives of an A freak.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“I’d walked to school like it was any other day. Like my heart wasn’t breaking. Like my head wasn’t reeling and my feet weren’t weighted down by the sudden and tragic onset of clinical depression, making each breath a trial, each step a struggle. I totally needed a car.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

“few things were more disturbing than sticky fingers. Forest fires, perhaps. And people who claimed to have been abducted by aliens.”
― Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door