Blackbirds Quotes

“Did you just say shrug instead of actually shrugging?”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“She thinks, I want an orange soda. And I want vodka to mix into the orange soda. And while we're at it, I'd also like to stop being able to see how people are going to bite it. Oh, and a pony. I definitely want a goddamn pony.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“He was a nice guy, Jimmy, but rich or not he was dumb as a bag of retards, and smoking all that weed didn't help.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“A lady should be respectful," is all he manages through gritted teeth. He pitches the towel in the corner.
Miriam snorts. "That's me. My fair fuckin' lady.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“Things happen in this life. Sometimes they're good things, and sometimes they're bad things. You have to come to terms with the bad things, especially when you can't change them.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“Some of life's best moments are during a good bowel movement, and to have that robbed from you, I can't even imagine.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“Way she sees it, people fall into one of two categories: those who think their death is imminent, and those who figure they have long, healthy lives ahead of them. Nobody ever thinks it's somewhere in-between.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“Most people don't die young, at least not here in America. Tragedy is unavoidable, but in this country, it doesn't usually come in the way one dies but rather in the way one lives. Failed marriages, fucked-up children, abuse of self, abuse of wife, abuse of dog, loneliness, depression, loathing, yawn, whatever.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“Waffle House, a staple of the American South, is essentially a greasy yellow coffin. It’s small. It’s boxy. Half the people inside are little more than animated corpses, stuffing their mouths full of hash browns and sausages and the requisite waffles, their bodies bloating and swelling, their hearts dying.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“It’s all elbows, Paul. Death and elbows.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“It starts with my mother….Boys get fucked up by their fathers, right? That’s why so many tales are really Daddy Issue stories at their core, because men run the world, and men get to tell their stories first. If women told most of the stories, though, then all the best stories would be about Mommy Problems.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds

“Crayola makes all kinds of crazy colors. You know. Burnt umber. Burnt sienna. Blanched almond. Baby-shit yellow. And so on, and so forth. I’m just saying, cockroaches Have their own color. It’s distinct. Crayola should get on that. The kids’ll love it.”
― Chuck Wendig, Blackbirds