Touched Quotes

“Baboons, I observed. One with a big gun and the other with a big mouth, and both with alpha-sized, flaming pink asses.”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“What are you, a James Bond villain?” I said. “The least-hot Bond girl ever? Pussy NoMore?”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“I took a bracing sip of espresso and pictured Batten prancing out in the snow wearing nothing but a sport sock, trilling Tiptoe Through the Tulips in Tiny Tim falsetto.”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“Because you expected shambling, zombie-speed. Any human can outrun a shambling zombie. Just pop behind a tree or dive in a bush. Zombies are dumb as stumps. They won't think to look there unless the bokor orders it. Kids know. Pulling your blankets up over your head fools some monsters. If they can't see you, they give up and stumble off down the hall to eat your parents.”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“On the bright side, being irritated was preferable to being sad and horrified; when in doubt, choose rage, that's my motto.”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“Even after Fat Dracula’s liposuction, his weight had ballooned right back up, because he refused to give up bacon double cheese burgers. I sympathized; nothin’ like a good bacon double cheeseburger. “Nope,”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“When someone says “jump”, Marnie Baranuik is more liable to kick them in the yambag than ask “how high?”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“Funny,” Batten said with a calm smile. “Got the impression you're threatened by me.” Harry threw back his head and laughed with gusto. The sound of it rose goose bumps and then rubbed them with velvet. Despite the smiling and laughing, the moment was anything but friendly. Baboons, I observed. One with a big gun and the other with a big mouth, and both with alpha-sized, flaming pink asses.”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“It read: Asmodeus.”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“You've got thirty minutes,” she shouted. “Or I make you sorry you ever entered the circuit!”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“So why not tell him that the original revenant, the progenitor of undeath, was a fallen angel who had flanked Satan in the War in Heaven before the Dark Mother rose beside God, her Consort, and backhanded a third of the angelic host from heaven?”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“I felt woozy, like I'd gorged myself on pleasure, an orgasm OD. Could a girl die from that? Deadly delirium?”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched

“My imagination tripped up the stairs to where Batten was still in bed, crept in under the door and slipped under the covers for a peek at his sleeping attire. Damn my creeping imagination. Conveniently, said creeping imagination doesn't like underwear and is under the delusion that hot guys are, as a subspecies, breathtakingly stiff 24/7.”
― A.J. Aalto, Touched