Twice Upon a Time Quotes

“Whaaaaaat is going on?" May whispered out of the corner of her mouth.
"I'm sort of comforted by the fact that I can't figure it out," Jack responded.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“Listen, last time I talked to you three, you were all two oars short of having any oars, so I don't want to hear it.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“Oh, so close!" she said, her smile getting wider. "But close only counts in horseshoes and dragon fire.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“JACK!” May yelled. “NOW! SWORD HIM! SWORD HIM IN HIS FACE!”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“See, I like to think the point of life is to be happy,” Jack said with a shrug. “Also maybe not almost dying every two minutes. But I can see how we’ll have to agree to disagree here.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“The ship itself was about as long as a football field, or some other really long thing, given that may honestly could never remember how long football fields were. A hundred yards? That was like three hundred feet, wasn't it? The boat did seem long, but she was over five feet tall herself, and that's be like sixty of her end to end. Only sixty? Or was that a lot of herselves? Stupid analogies. The boat was big, that should cover it.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“The others just stopped and stared at him. “Correct me if I be wrong, little man,” Bluebeard said, “but ye do be wishin’ to live, aye? And ye do know that the Fish King will gut ye like a trout if he gets ahold a’ye?” “Basically Bluebeard’s calling you stupid,” May translated helpfully.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“Fakin’? No,” the captain said, giving her a careful stare. “But don’t be misunderestimatin’ Captain Bluebeard anytime soon, lassie. I don’t be who ye think I be!” “You be someone without a good grasp on yer grammar, is who I think ye be,” May pointed out.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“the guards had May in front of them, with what seemed to be a monkey tail growing out the back of her shirt. Okay, that was new.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“You are awake,” Phillip said from his side. “I feared you were permanently injured.” “The day’s still young,” Jack told him, his head”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“You’re right, Phillip!” May said, slamming a hand down on the railing. “Let’s go jump in the ocean and try not to drown, just to annoy my grandmother!”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“He grinned. “Like when you’re right in the middle of the worst adventure imaginable, but for a minute, it’s just about sitting on a boat in the middle of the ocean with your friends, with no one trying to kill you in any kind of horrifying way. You have to appreciate these moments when they happen, ’cause obviously we don’t get many of them.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“Thousand years, billion dollars,” May said to the monkey. “You. PAY.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“I don’t know how to make things better.”
“You’re doing that right now,” Jack told her. “You’re making things better by saving the Fairy Homelands. By finding out who you are. By doing exactly what she doesn’t want you to do. Don’t you get it? The fact that she’s trying so hard to keep us from finding that out, that must mean something! There must be a reason!”
“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll find out and live happily ever after.”
“Happily ever what?”
“It means that I’ll be happy forever, ‘cause that’s how fairy-uh, kids stories end,” May said, the wind blowing her hair. “Except they don’t, do they? Obviously not.”
“Uh, no,” Jack said, giving her a confused look. “How could anyone possibly be happy forever? You really think you’re never going to stub your toe, or get sick, or fight with your friend? No one lives happily never after.”
“Ever after.”
“Whatever. I’ve never heard of anything so stupid. Talk about a kid’s story.”
“So what’s the point, then, if we can’t be happy? Why are we doing any of this?”
“Oh, there’s definitely happiness,” Jack said, turning his back on the ocean and looking at her. “But it’s just about moments, not ever-afters.” He grinned. “Like when you’re right in the middle of the worst adventure imaginable, but for a minute, it’s just about sitting on a boat in the middle of the ocean with your friend, with no one trying to kill you in any horrifying way. You have to appreciate these moments when they happen, ‘cause obviously we don’t get many of them.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“toward the boat. “We could always turn back.” Jack sighed. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could.” The prince clapped Jack on the shoulder. “You are a decent fellow”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“This book is dedicated to YOU.
Every other reader will think I’m talking about them, but you know better”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“Jack’s the exact same idiot as he was before he found it!”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“I’m kicking that girl in the face SO HARD!” May shouted.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“Lemme think how best to put this,” he said finally, “because I don’t want to offend you in some way. I’d rather walk naked through snow that’s on fire while all my friends laugh at me than ever consider joining the Wicked Queen.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“If you’re going to shorten Jillian, you might as well call me Jill like our dad does.” A chill shot through his body. “Our dad?”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time

“No one ends my story but ME,” he said, then cursed silently at how stupid that sounded.”
― James Riley, Twice Upon a Time