Real Marriage Quotes

“Stop looking for the path of least resistance and start running down the path of greatest glory to God and good to others, because that's what Jesus, the Real Man, did.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“If my words don't flow out of a heart that rests in God's control, sovereignty, then they come out of the heart that seeks control so I can get what I want.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“Marriage includes a spouse, and often children. But the goal, center, and purpose of marriage is not self, spouse, or children. The ultimate goal of marriage and family is the glory of God. Only when marriage and family exist for God's glory - and not to serve as replacement idols - are we able to truly love and be loved. Remember, neither your child nor your husband (or wife) should be who you worship, but instead who you worship with.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“Any religious person who says he does not really need human friends because God is his Friend is calling God a liar because He's the One Who says we also need human friends.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“While it only takes one spouse to be friendly, it takes both spouses to be friends. When both spouses are unfriendly, the marriage is marked by conflict and coldness. When one spouse is friendly and the other is unfriendly, the marriage is marked by selfishness and sadness. But when both spouses each make a deep, heartfelt covenant with God to continually seek to become a better friend, increasing love and laughter mark the marriage.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“When you are lying in bed angry with your backs turned towards each other, imagine Satan sleeping in the space between you.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“The key to understnading masculinity is Jesus Christ. Jesus was tough with religious blockheads, false teachers, the proud, and bullies. Jesus was tender with women, children, and those who were suffering or humble. Additionally, Jesus took responsability for Himself. He worked a jon for the first thirty years of His life, swinging a hammer as a carpenter. He also took responsability for us on the cross, where He substituted Himself and died in our place for our sins. My sins are my fault, not Jesus'fault, but Jesus has made them His responsability. This is the essence of the gospel, the "good news". If you understand this, it will change how you view masculinity.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“In marriage we have a duty to God, our spuses, the world, and future generations. But we are sinners. A husband and wife need to acknowledge that when the Bible speaks of fools, it is not just speaking about other people, but about them as well. Even the wisest among us has moments of folly. So God gives us spouses to serve as wise friends by praying with and for us, attending church with us, speaking truth, and providing Scripture along with good books and online classes, lectures, and sermons to nourish fruitfulness in our lives.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“Repentance keeps sin from condemning us because Jesus died and scorned the shame.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“For the husband, the male prostate can only be accessed through the anus. It is called the "male G-spot" as it is reportedly a source of great pleasure when stroked by such things as a wife's finger.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“#
# My pregnant wife came home with her previously long hair that I loved chopped off and replaced with a short, mommish haircut. She asked what I thought and could tell by my face. She had put a mom's need for convenience before being a wife. She wept.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“But birth control can also be compelled by sinful motivations. These can include putting lesser priorities like career above higher priorities like family or greedily wanting to make as much income as possible to the exclusion of everything else, and not incur the costs of child raising; being selfish and not wanting to have to care for a child; or immaturely not wanting to take on the responsibility that good parenting requires.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“The questions today are different, and if people don't get answers from pastors and parents, they will find them in dark, depraved places.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“I'd go home to a wife whom I was not sexually enjoying.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“Married life can seem as if it's only five days long. The first day you meet, the second day you marry, the third day your raise your children, the fourth day you meet your grandchildren, and the fifth day you die first or bury your spouse to go home alone for the first time in many years.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“I came to the conclusion that the cure for a lot of my moodiness was having more frequent sex with my wife.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“I felt God had conned me by telling me to marry Grace, and allowed Grace to rule over me since she was controlling our sex life. I loved Grace, but in the bedroom I did not enjoy her and wondered how many years I could white-knuckle fidelity.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“Since you act as though God is dead, I wanted to join you in the mourning."

The reply of Martin Luther's wife, in full funeral regalia, in trying to illustrate the folly of his depressed state.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“Que el matrimonio se trata de amistad. Todo lo que se diga con relación a pasar tiempo y estar juntos toda una vida, tener recuerdos, ser buenos oyentes, envejecer y cuidarse uno al otro, ser sinceros, tener una amplia visión de las cosas, arrepentirse y perdonar, se puede resumir en una palabra: amistad.”
― Mark Driscoll, Matrimonio real: La verdad acerca del sexo, la amistad y la vida juntos

“Back in high school, once she suspected that I was probably not a Christian, she did not break up with me as she should have.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“To make matters worse, seemingly every book I read by Christians on sex and marriage sounded unfair. Nearly every one said the husband had to work very hard to understand his wife, to relate to her.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“We want to state this carefully: a spouse who is evil, distant, cruel, unloving, or abusive should not use this information to demand more sex from his wife without first dealing with his sin.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“As a pastor, I recognize that in theological terms, narcissists want to be the center of attention, like a god, and have people worship them by paying attention to them, buying the products they promote, and emulating their behavior.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

“1. Reaction—passively dominated by urgencies and pushy people. This results in a life that is a frazzled mess, disorganized, without a sense of priorities, half-finished tasks, running late, and a frantic lifestyle. 2. Conformity—succumbing to the fear of man and just being and doing what everyone else wants, which is not necessarily following God’s will for you and your family. This results in a boring life where everyone but God is pleased, and the person who is easily pushed around keeps busy and productive but is not passionate or free. 3. Independence—nonconforming rebellion in the name of freedom marked by doing only what you want and ignoring godly authority over you. This results in a life of defiance, independence, immaturity, self-reliance, and foolishness. 4. Intentionality—reverse-engineering your life and living it prayerfully and purposefully, journaling your thoughts throughout the day, and using silence and solitude to hear from God and organize your life. This results in a life that is purposeful and passionate to God’s glory, people’s good, and your joy.
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― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

“When someone is attacked, we call it assault. As horrible as that is, what is even worse is torment. Torment is when you’re assaulted and you cannot escape, like prisoners of war and those who are held captive in slavery. For some women, their version of slavery and captivity in torment is called marriage. Tragically, some women settle for this kind of life. Or perhaps even worse, they tell their church leadership, only to be told that when Paul said our bodies belongs to our spouses, it means the wife is basically a piece of property. Some tragic studies report that an assaulted wife who goes to her church instead of the police or a licensed counselor will be less likely to get ongoing emotional help and legal protection, but rather will return to the abuse in the name of submission—as if the abuse is what God had in mind for her. Anytime a husband or church leader demands the wife obey the Bible without doing the same for the husband, he is sanctioning abuse. Any professing Christian man who assaults his wife is a heretic preaching a false gospel with his life. A man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Jesus’ relationship with the church is not one of rape, violence, abuse, and degradation. There is no place for any assault—including sexual assault—in any marriage.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

“Under no circumstances is sexual assault of any sort acceptable in marriage. The Bible teaches husbands, “Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church,”b and “dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

“Researchers have estimated that sexual assault occurs in 10–14 percent of all marriages.”66 Men who sexually assault their wives commonly also abuse them in multiple other ways, including verbal, mental, emotional, and spiritual abuse, in addition to battering the women physically. These beatings and rapes have little, if anything, to do with sex. Instead, they are haunting degradations.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

“Whereas women often feel their depression and become sad, men more commonly act out their depression in behaviors such as being grumpy, irritable, sullen, discouraged, annoyed, mad, withdrawn, cold, and aloof.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

“Husbands and wives live on a continuum from selfish to servant both in and out of the bedroom. If a marriage is between two selfish people, it will be cold and functional. If a marriage is between a selfish person and a servant, the marriage will be selfish and abusive. If a marriage is between two servants, it will be increasingly uniting and satisfying both in and out of the bedroom.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

“Marriage is for our holiness before our happiness. Your spouse is the most sanctifying, and often most frustrating, relationship you will have.”
― Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together