Pale as a Ghost Quotes

“It’s just that… I’m wanting to start dating myself.” I saw Gina’s eyes bug out. “I don’t mean dating myself. I’ve been doing that for ten years now. It’s gotten to the point where I buy my left hand chocolates on Valentine’s Day.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pale as a Ghost

“I smiled. “Nick, this is my dead boyfriend, Robbie. If you can’t see him, at least you’ll be able to see the salt carton hanging in mid-air. My dog is a zombie, and I’ve got a friend that’s a witch.”

“Oh,” he said in a very small voice.

I nodded. “That’s pretty much what I asked you over to tell you. So, what’s new with you?”
― Stephen Osborne, Pale as a Ghost

“Daisy was my beloved bulldog, who had some problems of her own—the main one being that she, too, was no longer alive. However, she wasn’t a ghost like Robbie. Daisy was a zombie. Long story.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pale as a Ghost

“DINNER went off without a hitch up until the part where people actually sat down at the table and began to eat. After that it went horribly wrong.”
― Stephen Osborne, Wrestling With Jesus

“I’d never thrown myself through a window before, but I knew what to do in theory. The answer is: don’t do it.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pale as a Ghost

“My hand found its way back to her knee. I hoped it was to comfort her. I’d hate to think that my right hand was straight. “Soon. I’ll call her this afternoon and get back to you.”

She nodded. I removed my right hand, thankful that I was left-handed. I’d hate to have to try masturbating with a straight hand. It probably wouldn’t cooperate. And then where would I be?”
― Stephen Osborne, Pale as a Ghost

“Gina’s brow furrowed. “I’m a witch not fucking Harry Potter. You want miracles call the 700 Club.”
― Stephen Osborne, Pale as a Ghost

“He hadn’t actually acted since his high school senior play (where he had famously skipped two whole pages of dialog and died fifteen minutes too soon),”
― Stephen Osborne, Wrestling With Jesus