Love Every Day Quotes

“It’s vital to learn to stay with your emotions, even the strong or painful ones. Emotions demand attention, not action. Hold steady. Observe. Breathe.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“When your partner raises a concern with you about you, the process goes much better if you remember that attending to this concern is not the same thing as agreeing with this concern. Rather than closing yourself off by defending or rationalizing, you can remain open to your partner.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“A butterfly outgrows her cocoon. This doesn’t mean the cocoon was fake, meaningless, or not worth it. It means the cocoon served its purpose.

In the same way, you will outgrow a job, home, friendship, relationship.

Can you say goodbye without belittling the place that experience holds in your heart? In your life? In your transformation?”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“So often when it is time for something to end, you trash it. You say it was silly, lame, embarrassing, a waste of your time.

This approach is a process. It doesn’t make the grief go away, but it blends the grief with something else: grace.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“The world projects possibilities and restrictions onto people based on identity variables (age, race, gender, etc.). We need to explore the sneaky ways we’ve internalized those stories. Internalized identity rules sound like

“Because I am X, I cannot also be/do Y.” For example:

• Because I am a mother, I cannot take a pole dancing class.

• Because I am forty years old, I cannot become a student.

• Because I am well-known in my community, I cannot go to therapy.

• Because I do CrossFit, I cannot do Zumba.

• Because I am a man, I cannot ask my partner to hold me.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“Moreover, we have had our particular affective chronometry (the time that it takes to calm down after getting upset) since we were kids. It’s part of our temperament.

What does this mean for your love life? It is not an excuse to go full “Housewives of Wherever” on your partner because it’s just in your DNA.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“Feeling guilt is a reflection of your capacity for empathy, not an indication that you have made a mistake.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“Let yourself grieve that your parent was not able to be who you needed them to be.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“We can listen to the echoes of a pain we didn’t cause.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“That self- critical part of me holds the power to move me from disappointment to shame:

• When he offers help, I push it away—after all, it’s my fault.
• When he offers empathy, my ears distort it and hear pity.
• When he shares his disappointment, I get defensive.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“If the outcome is not the outcome you want (profound reciprocity and readiness to take this thing to the next level), promise that you will strive to feel sadness, not shame.

Grieve the fact that this person does not want what you want, but do not turn against yourself. Direct your disappointment toward the outcome, not toward you as a person.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“Something can be both “normal” and emotionally challenging.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

“Gossip is insecurity dressed up like power.”
― Alexandra H. Solomon, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive