Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man Quotes

“Daddy gave me real useful information to protect me in the real world. If anyone hits me, I'm not to hit them back. I wait until their back is turned, then hit them in the head with a brick.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“Remember, if people talk about you behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead of them.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“In her opinion, Alexander Graham Bell and Clarence Birdseye are the two greatest Americans that ever lived excluding Robert E. Lee. She believes we never lost the War Between the States, that General Lee thought General Grant was the butler and just naturally handed him his sword.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“I thought I was going to die right there on the spot. I've never heard anything so terrible in my whole life. I hope she is wrong and I never get a period. I am eleven years old and entirely too young to hear about it. Can you imagine my mother not knowing what Kotex are for and dusting the house with them? Well, her mother can just tell her what they are for. I'm not getting into the facts of life. I haven't heard one fact of life I like yet.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“Grandma Harper has two green bottles shaped like women with black hair painted on their heads and a yellow glass colored captain's hat that she keeps her face powder in that I want too, and a picture of a naked girl in a swing, swinging way up in the air over castles in a blue sky.
I don't know why I want those things, I just do.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“I just know there's an albino living in the colored quarters. I can feel it in my bones.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“...The band did a salute to Stephen Foster and played 'Beautiful Dreamer' and we formed a bed. Then we played 'My Old Kentucky Home' while the majorettes slowly pranced like horses. We finished with 'I Dream of Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair', we formed a comb. Miss Philpot is running out of ideas if you ask me.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“Damn, I'm Miss Mississippi!”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“The little girl knew if she bit any member of her family, they would get rabies too, and she died without ever having been petted. I cried so hard Mrs. Underwood had to take me to the school nurse.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“I was sitting on the roof, and she didn't see me. I sit on the roof a lot. People never think to look up.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“Claude Pistal is a creep! He is lucky I'm reasonably mild-mannered like Clark Kent.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“I found out I got ringworm from Felix. If it gets in my head, they will have to shave off my hair. I'll be bald just like Eisenhower, and I am a Democrat.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“My Aunt Bess is about sixty-five years old and has never been married. She told me that they may put "Miss" on her tombstone, but that she hasn't missed a thing.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“Then there was the time when he picked up a two-by-four on the side of the road and put it in the front seat by me and stuck it out the window. He told me to hold it, which I did, but when the wind hit the board, it turned around and hit me in the head and knocked me out. Another time, when a friend of Daddy’s bought a brand-new Buick, Daddy pressed the push-button window up on my neck. But that time I think it was just a matter of him not being familiar with the equipment. The main thing Momma bases her theory on is once Daddy, who is very artistic, wanted to make a life mask of my face. He put plaster of paris on me but forgot the breathing holes. On top of that he also forgot to put Vaseline on my face. He had to crack the plaster off with a hammer. Momma didn’t speak to him for a week on that one. I myself was sorry that it didn’t turn out. She also says he is going to ruin my nervous system because of the time he sneaked up on me when I was listening to Inner Sanctum on the radio. Just as the squeaking door opened, he grabbed me and yelled, “Got ya,” real loud, which caused me to faint. She also didn’t like him telling me Santa Claus had been killed in a bus accident and making me throw up. The Pettibones have very delicate nervous systems. That’s true. Momma is nervous all the time. She’s worn a hole in the floor on the passenger’s side of Daddy’s car from putting on the brakes. Momma always looks like she is on the verge of a hissy fit, but that’s mainly because when she was eighteen, she stuck her head in a gas oven looking at some biscuits and blew her eyebrows off. So she paints them on like little half-moons. People love to talk to her because she always looks interested, even if she isn’t.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“Alla gente non piacciono questi fatti, ma non so che cosa farci. Se qualcuno ti chiede come stai, si aspetta che tu risponda BENE. Non devi dire che la sera prima ti sei addormentata piangendo perché erano due giorni di fila che non parlavi con un'altra persona. Devi dire: BENE.”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man

“do you know that’s the same woman”
― Fannie Flagg, Daisy Fay And The Miracle Man