Mucho Mojo Quotes

“I like ambition. I like someone who gets up in the morning and has a purpose. A real purpose. I have one. I want whoever I love to have one."
"I always look forward to breakfast.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“There's no one more obnoxious and self-righteous than the self-made man. And no one more admirable.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“Aren't you embarrassed undressing in front of a queer?" Leonard said. "All you know, I might be sizing up your butthole."
"Just call me a tease.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“You want to know what I'm wearing?"
"Not unless you think it'll really get me excited."
"I'm afraid clothes have to have women in them for you to get excited."
"Maybe you could talk in a high voice."
"Cut through the shit, Hap.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“You're brooding, Leonard, my friend. What's the problem?"
"I blew it with Fitzgerald."
"I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. It was more like a nuclear disaster.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“These fucks next door. I got no problems with them yet, but I feel one brewing, way they watch me. They’re biding their time. I’d like to have you at my back, and there’s always the chance they’ll get you first, instead of me. I like the idea of a buffer.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“Hap, even tough I'm a racist castrating bitch that wants you to be better than you are, wants you to do something with your life besides be a knockabout, do you think you could find it in your heart, in your itty-bitty white man's dick, to get a hard-on for me? In other words, want to fuck?”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“There’s things here don’t jive right,”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“We were back over on the East Side, at a little, smoky black juke joint called the Congo Bongo Club, having a beer. Well, Leonard was having a beer. I was having a nonalcoholic beer. The place served them, but they seemed embarrassed about it. The bartender, who was also the waiter, kinda slunk over and put it on the table like a patient giving a pretty nurse a urine sample.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“MeMaw was good people, but that didn’t mean the genes didn’t come together in Hiram crooked somewhere. Got the wrong combination.” “Then in a way,” I said, “that means he couldn’t help it.” “Bad dogs can’t help but bite either. I’ve seen ’em born vicious and just get worse as they got older, no matter how good you treated ’em. They can’t help it, but I couldn’t help putting a bullet through their heads either. You don’t bite me, or try to bite me but once.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“I guess. You think he’ll get life, or a needle full of shit?” “I pray for the needle. I’d like to be there to push the plunger in the fucker, or maybe just forget the dope and jab him to death with the needle.” “The thing that worries me about you, Leonard, is you have such a hard time getting in touch with your true feelings.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“I thought about Hanson. I wanted to be mad at him, but he hadn’t done anything but respond to what was there to respond to. Hell, I liked the big bastard. Really. He was a swell guy. I just hoped his dick would fall off.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo

“Whitey still has them on his farm, only they ain’t doing nothing there and they’re getting tidbits tossed to them like dogs, and they take it and keep on keeping on and wanting Whitey to do more.” “Maybe Whitey owes them.” “Maybe he does, but you can be a cur or you get up off your ass and start seeing yourself as a person instead of an underdog that’s got to take those scraps.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Mucho Mojo