Undead and Undermined Quotes

“Why is it suddenly uncool to spell? That's all I want to know.”
― MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Undermined

“I'm in a Roadrunner cartoon, Sinclair. And I'm the coyote.”
― MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Undermined

“Have you lost your teeny tiny mind, you too-tall, too-skinny, too-crazy jerk?”
“Oh, look who’s talking, Miss Let’s Blunder Around the Time Stream and Hang the Consequences! Thanks to you, we’ve got a dead Marc and a
live Marc in the same timeline . . . in the same house! Thanks to you, I got chomped on by a dim, blonde, undead, selfish, whorish, blood-sucking
leech when I was minding my own business in the past.”
“Don’t you call me dim!”
“Um. Everyone. Perhaps we should—” Tina began.
“Wait, when did this happen?” Marc asked. He had the look of a man desperately trying to buy a vowel. “Past, an hour ago? Past, last year? Help
me out.”
“Oh, biiiiig surprise!” Laura threw her (perfectly manicured) hands in the air. “Let me guess, you were soooo busy banging your dead husband
that you haven’t had time to tell anybody anything.”
“I was getting to it,” I whined.
“Then after not telling anyone anything and not being proactive—or even active!—you grow up to destroy the world and bring about eternal
nuclear winter or whatever the heck that was and how do you deal with your foreknowledge of terrible events to come? Have sex!”
“An affirmation of life?” Sinclair suggested. Never, I repeat, never had I loved him more. I was torn between slugging my sister and blowing my
husband. Hmm. Laura might have a point about my priorities . . . but jeez. Look at him. Yum.
“—even do it and what do you have to say for yourself? Huh?”
“You’re just uptight, repressed, smug, antisex, and jealous, you Antichristing morally superior, fundamentally evil bitch.”
Laura and Marc gasped. My husband groaned.”
― MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Undermined

“Getting gratitude is becoming a thing with you, but even so, you're the worst Antichrist ever," Jessica said. "Which is actually comforting. Stay close.”
― MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Undermined

“She really hated confrontations (unless she was killing someone; then she overcame her shyness).”
― MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Undermined

“I hated driving, so found this impressive. It’s soooo boring. And just when you get going, some asshat Statie pulls you over. Like there aren’t any murders and rapes going on, so they can nap under bridges and set speed traps for unwary vampires. Weak. “Dick. Remember? He’s Dick.” “I”
― MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Undermined