Unmanned Quotes

“A pause. It might have been pregnant. I’ve never been sure how to tell if a silence has conceived or not.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Of course I believe in hell. I have three brothers.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“If you don't like your teeth; keep your mouth shut.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“If you don't scare the neighbors while copulating, I'm afraid you're doing something terribly wrong.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“A wedding is no way to begin a marriage.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who enjoy a nice salami and those who have no souls.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Sometimes it's nice to have a man around the house. But a dog will clean the dishes.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“A person without regrets is called a corpse.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“I'd love to go out with you, but I'd hate to deprive some village of its idiot.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“What if there's no such thing as PMS, and this is just my personality?”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Love is like skydiving without a parachute.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“You can't choose your family. Can't shoot 'em either.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“I'm just an everyday kind of hero. If the everyday kind saves babies from burning buildings and looks hotter than hell in bunker gear.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“All's well so long-as you don't get shot in the hind end with a twenty gauge.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“False hope is better than no hope at all.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“The trouble with insanity is it can flare up at the most inconvenient moments.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Expect stupid. It's everywhere.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“Taxes for people with too much damned time on their hands.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned

“You don't know many friends you have till you buy a big-ass house on the beach.”
― Lois Greiman, Unmanned