The Small Print Quotes

“You know why doctors slap babies on the bottom when they're born? So the dicks fall off the smart ones."
He laughed. "You know why women don't have dicks? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.”
― Barbara Elsborg, The Small Print

“You have some lovely books," she said. "I like the one with the pictures of polar bears."
"The books with words too tricky?"
She released a strangled laugh.
"Would you care to explain the system?" Turner stared at the shelves.
Matty moved in front of him and pointed. "They're sorted by color."
"Ah." Dear God.
"And by size."
"Mmm." Turner felt his mouth start to twitch. "It didn't occur to you to shelve them alphabetically by author name or even title?"
"Well, yes, but no."
"The thing is, you have so many. I organized one boxful only to find the next box wrecked what I'd done so I thought they'd look nicer if all the same color spines sat together. I tried to follow the colors of the spectrum. Look, the books go up and down in waves."
He'd noticed. It made him feel seasick.”
― Barbara Elsborg, The Small Print

“He sat on a kitchen chair and lifted her onto his lap so her legs straddled his, and then he slipped his hands under her skirt and cupped her backside to drag her closer. Oh f**k. Good news and bad news.
The good news was no underwear.
The bad news was no underwear.”
― Barbara Elsborg, The Small Print

“Turner didn't have to put up with this. He had enough trouble with George's sarcasm. He held his hand. "Keys please."
Her face fell. "Sorry. I sometimes speak without thinking. Well, not sometimes. Often. Never an unspoken thought, my dad used to say. And my mum. And my employers.”
― Barbara Elsborg, The Small Print

“a”
― Barbara Elsborg, The Small Print