My Weird School Daze! Quotes

“No.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weirder School: #1-4 [Collection]

“My name is Mrs. Lilly,” she said. “I work for the News Tribune Bulletin Inquirer. Can I ask you kids a few questions?” “Sure,” Alexia and I replied. “So what’s your name, young man?” Mrs. Lilly asked. “My name is A.J. and I hate school,” I told her. “Hello, little girl,” Mrs. Lilly said. “What’s your name?” “My name is A.J. and I hate school,” said Alexia. “Both of you are named A.J.?” Mrs. Lilly asked us. “Yes.” “And both of you hate school?” “Yes.” “Tell me why,” she said. “I need to get a scoop for my paper.” “Why do you need a scoop?” I asked. “Did your dog make a poop?” “No, I mean I’m here to get the real story about Ella Mentry School,” Mrs. Lilly said. “I want the story behind the story.” “Well, the teachers here are all crazy,” Alexia told her. “Is that so?” Mrs. Lilly said as she jotted down notes in her pad. “Tell me more.” “Our teacher, Mr. Granite, is from another planet,” I told her. “He built a spaceship powered by potatoes so he could go home, but a cow bumped into it and it crashed into the playground.” “Interesting!” said Mrs. Lilly,”
― Dan Gutman, My Weirder School: #1-4 [Collection]

“a giant cake was on the stage. I mean giant! There must have been enough cake for everybody in the whole school to have a piece. And it was covered with candles. I guess there were ninety of them, for Ella Mentry’s birthday. Mr. Harrison went up onstage and started lighting them.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weirder School: #1-4 [Collection]

“The Truth About Mr. Harrison Mr. Harrison’s first name is George. “I know Mr. Harrison’s real name,” I told everybody after I handed back the wallet and he left. “What is it?” Ryan asked. “His name is . . . ,” I said. “I’m not telling.” “Come on, A.J.!” said Michael. “Spill the beans.”4 “I’ll be your best friend,” said Neil the nude kid. “Arlo, what’s Mr. Harrison’s first name?” said Andrea. “It’s George,” I said. “George?” said Alexia. “That’s not a weird name.” “I wonder why he wouldn’t tell us his name was George,” said Michael. “George Harrison,” said Andrea. “Wait a minute! George Harrison was somebody famous! He was one of the Beatles!” “One of the what?” asked Neil the nude kid. “That old rock group, dumbhead,” said Michael. Oh, yeah! My parents told me about the Beatles, and I played this video game called Rock Band, where you play Beatle songs. It’s cool. Everybody knows who the Beatles were. “Mr. Harrison was one of the Beatles?” asked Ryan. “Wait a minute,” Andrea said. “George Harrison of the Beatles died a long time ago.” “He must have faked his death,” I told her. “Famous people do that all the time, you know.” “That doesn’t make any sense, A.J.,” said Michael. “Why would a big rock star fake his death and get a job as a tech guy in a school?” “He probably hated being famous,” I told them. “Celebrities get sick of signing autographs and having people take pictures of them all the time. He must be hiding out in our school so his fans won’t bother him.” “Being a nerdy tech guy would be the perfect disguise,” Alexia admitted. “But Mr. Harrison doesn’t look anything like the other George Harrison,” Andrea said. “I’ve seen pictures of him.” “Haven’t you ever heard of plastic surgery?”
― Dan Gutman, My Weirder School: #1-4 [Collection]

“ugly,” I told them. Mr. Klutz made the”
― Dan Gutman, My Weirder School: #1-4 [Collection]

“said.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“library?”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“lessons?”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“teacher.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“this”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“intervention,”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“circumference”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“arithmetic.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“That was Mrs. Roopy wearing a powdered wig and an army uniform.” She may have been right, but I didn’t want to admit it, because I hate her.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“He looked a little like a lady dressed like an army guy. When he got to the bottom, the army guy with the wig stood all straight and proud at attention. He gave us a salute.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“Art Contest”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“Johnny Applesauce”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“Mrs. Roopy,”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“needed was”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“Credits Cover art © 2004 by Jim Paillot.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“Football Players”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“Football Players Are Really Dumb”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“all the boys had a contest to see who could spin around in circles the longest without throwing up.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“How to Spell Read”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“to run in the halls, and we’re not allowed to chew gum. Stuff like that. But I wasn’t listening very closely because I kept staring at his head. He had no hair at all! I mean none! His head looked like a giant egg. When Principal Klutz was all done telling us the rules of the school, he asked if anybody had any questions about what he had said. “Did all your hair fall out of your head,” I asked, “or did you cut it off?” Everybody laughed, even though I didn’t say anything funny. Miss Daisy looked at me with a mean face. “Actually, it was both,” Principal Klutz replied with a chuckle. “Almost all of my hair fell out on its own, so I decided to shave the rest of it off.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“Miss Daisy was really dumb! Even I know what you get when you multiply four times four. But that smarty-pants-I-know-everything-girl Andrea Young beat me to it and got called on first.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“her face, like she had just opened all her birthday presents. Andrea Young thinks she’s so smart. “I hate arithmetic,” I announced. “You know what?” Miss Daisy said. “I hate arithmetic too!” “You do?” we all said. “Sure! I don’t even know what you get if you multiply four times four.” “You don’t?” “I have no idea,” Miss Daisy said, scratching her head and wrinkling up her forehead like she was trying to figure it out. “Maybe one of you kids can explain it to”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“I’m going to finger paint a picture of a tree falling in a forest and crushing a family of happy butterflies until they are dead,”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“For a few days, I was the star of the school. No kid had ever been inside the teachers’ lounge. I was probably the first one in the history of the world. Everybody wanted to know about the incredible things I saw in the teachers’ lounge. Kids were even offering me candy to tell them. I didn’t want to tell them the teachers’ lounge was just a boring old room where the teachers sat around eating lunch. I didn’t want to lie, either. So I just told them that the teachers blindfolded me and said they would torture me if I ever revealed what went on in the teachers’ lounge. It was cool.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]

“I barely touched her stupid elbow. She was moaning and holding her arm like an elephant stepped on it.”
― Dan Gutman, My Weird School: #1-4 [Collection]