Quiet Quotes

“Those who value a quiet, reflective life will feel a burden lifting from their shoulders as they read Susan Cain’s eloquent and well documented paean to introversion—and will no longer feel guilty or inferior for having made the better choice!” —MIHALY CSIKSZENTMIHALYI, author of Flow and distinguished professor of Psychology and Management, Claremont Graduate University”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“FDR, elected at the start of the Depression, is remembered for his compassion. But it was Eleanor who made sure he knew how suffering Americans felt.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“This study is very new, and its conclusions still need to be replicated and explored in other contexts. But it echoes Jerome Kagan’s findings that high-reactive first graders spend more time than other children comparing choices when they play matching games or reading unfamiliar words. And it suggests, says Jadzia Jagiellowicz, the lead scientist at Stony Brook, that sensitive types think in an unusually complex fashion. It may also help explain why they’re so bored by small talk. “If you’re thinking in more complicated ways,” she told me, “then talking about the weather or where you went for the holidays is not quite as interesting as talking about values or morality.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“When combined with Kagan’s findings on high reactivity, this line of studies offers a very empowering lens through which to view your personality. Once you understand introversion and extroversion as preferences for certain levels of stimulation, you can begin consciously trying to situate yourself in environments favorable to your own personality—neither overstimulating nor understimulating, neither boring nor anxiety-making. You can organize your life in terms of what personality psychologists call “optimal levels of arousal” and what I call “sweet spots,” and by doing so feel more energetic and alive than before.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Double pneumonia and an overscheduled life can happen to anyone, of course, but for Little, it was the result of acting out of character for too long and without enough restorative niches. When your conscientiousness impels you to take on more than you can handle, you begin to lose interest, even in tasks that normally engage you. You also risk your physical health. “Emotional labor,” which is the effort we make to control and change our own emotions, is associated with stress, burnout, and even physical symptoms like an increase in cardiovascular disease. Professor Little believes that prolonged acting out of character may also increase autonomic nervous system activity, which can, in turn, compromise immune functioning.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“We often marvel at how introverted, geeky kids “blossom” into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it’s not the children who change but their environments. As adults, they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don’t have to live in whatever culture they’re plunked into.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“The school environment can be highly unnatural, especially from the perspective of an introverted child who loves to work intensely on projects he cares about, and hang out with one or two friends at a time. In the morning, the door to the bus opens and discharges its occupants in a noisy, jostling mass.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Extroverts need to know that introverts—who often seem to disdain the superficial—may be only too happy to be tugged along to a more lighthearted place; and introverts, who sometimes feel as if their propensity for problem talk makes them a drag, should know that they make it safe for others to get serious.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“That’s OK. She needs to become more comfortable with the sound of her own hiss. Introverts may be hesitant to cause disharmony, but, like the passive snake, they should be equally worried about encouraging vitriol from their partners. And fighting back may not invite retaliation, as Emily fears; instead it may encourage Greg to back off. She need not put on a huge display. Often, a firm “that’s not OK with me” will do.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“We’re best off when we don’t allow ourselves to go to our angry place.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“If I have a choice between doing something for myself, like going out with my friends, or staying home and studying, I think of my parents. That gives me the strength to keep studying. My father tells me that his job is computer programming, and my job is to study.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Buffett takes pride not only in his track record, but also in following his own “inner scorecard.” He divides the world into people who focus on their own instincts and those who follow the herd. “I feel like I’m on my back,” says Buffett about his life as an investor, “and there’s the Sistine Chapel, and I’m painting away. I like it when people say, ‘Gee, that’s a pretty good-looking painting.’ But it’s my painting, and when somebody says, ‘Why don’t you use more red instead of blue?’ Good-bye. It’s my painting. And I don’t care what they sell it for. The painting itself will never be finished. That’s one of the great things about it.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“By contrast, introverts “have a smaller response” in the reward system, writes psychologist Nettle, “and so go less out of their way to follow up [reward] cues.” They will, “like anyone, be drawn from time to time to sex, and parties, and status, but the kick they get will be relatively small, so they are not going to break a leg to get there.” In short, introverts just don’t buzz as easily.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Train yourself to spend energy on what’s truly meaningful to you instead of on activities that look like they’ll deliver a quick buzz of money or status or excitement.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Deliberate Practice is best conducted alone for several reasons. It takes intense concentration, and other people can be distracting. It requires deep motivation, often self-generated. But most important, it involves working on the task that’s most challenging to you personally. Only when you’re alone, Ericsson told me, can you “go directly to the part that’s challenging to you. If you want to improve what you’re doing, you have to be the one who generates the move. Imagine a group class—you’re the one generating the move only a small percentage of the time.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“These students inhabit a world in which status, income, and self-esteem depend more than ever on the ability to meet the demands of the Culture of Personality. The pressure to entertain, to sell ourselves, and never to be visibly anxious keeps ratcheting up. The number of Americans who considered themselves shy increased from 40 percent in the 1970s to 50 percent in the 1990s, probably because we measured ourselves against ever higher standards of fearless self-presentation.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Extroversion is in our DNA—literally, according to some psychologists. The trait has been found to be less prevalent in Asia and Africa than in Europe and America, whose populations descend largely from the migrants of the world. It makes sense, say these researchers, that world travelers were more extroverted than those who stayed home—and that they passed on their traits to their children and their children’s children. “As personality traits are genetically transmitted,” writes the psychologist Kenneth Olson, “each succeeding wave of emigrants to a new continent would give rise over time to a population of more engaged individuals than reside in the emigrants’ continent of origin.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Still, Kagan’s decades-long series of discoveries mark a dramatic breakthrough in our understanding of these personality styles—including the value judgments we make. Extroverts are sometimes credited with being “pro-social”—meaning caring about others—and introverts disparaged as people who don’t like people. But the reactions of the infants in Kagan’s tests had nothing to do with people. These babies were shouting (or not shouting) over Q-tips. They were pumping their limbs (or staying calm) in response to popping balloons. The high-reactive babies were not misanthropes in the making; they were simply sensitive to their environments. Indeed, the sensitivity of these children’s nervous systems seems to be linked not only to noticing scary things, but to noticing in general.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Deliberate Practice is best conducted alone for several reasons. It takes intense concentration, and other people can be distracting. It requires deep motivation, often self-generated. But most important, it involves working on the task that’s most challenging to you personally. Only when you’re alone, Ericsson told me, can you “go directly to the part that’s challenging to you. If you want to improve what you’re doing, you have to be the one who generates the move.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Introverts seem to be specifically wired or trained so when they catch themselves getting excited and focused on a goal, their vigilance increases.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“constitutionally programmed to downplay reward—to kill their buzz, you might say—and scan for problems.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Buzz is JFK’s Camelot, but it’s also the Kennedy Curse.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Everyone assumes that it’s good to accentuate positive emotions, but that isn’t correct”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“His hypothesis was that extroverted leaders enhance group performance when employees are passive, but that introverted leaders are more effective with proactive employees. To”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Don't think about the perfect answer. It's better to get out there and say something than to never get your voice in.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Not that introverts can’t be eager and enthusiastic, but we’re not as overtly expressive as extroverts.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“I wonder whether students like the young safety officer would be better off if we appreciated that not everyone aspires to be a leader in the conventional sense of the word—that some people wish to fit harmoniously into the group, and others to be independent of it.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“That was exactly what happened—the conformists showed less brain activity in the frontal, decision-making regions and more in the areas of the brain associated with perception. Peer pressure, in other words, is not only unpleasant, but can actually change your view of a problem. These early findings suggest that groups are like mind-altering substances.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“The first is social loafing: in a group, some individuals tend to sit back and let others do the work. The second is production blocking: only one person can talk or produce an idea at once, while the other group members are forced to sit passively. And the third is evaluation apprehension, meaning the fear of looking stupid in front of one’s peers.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“The results were unambiguous. The men in twenty-three of the twenty-four groups produced more ideas when they worked on their own than when they worked as a group. They also produced ideas of equal or higher quality when working individually. And the advertising executives were no better at group work than the presumably introverted research scientists.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking