The Last Dragonslayer Quotes

“Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow; it takes a person of singular courage to go against it.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Sometimes choice is a luxury that fate does not afford us.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Quarkbeasts, for all their fearsome looks, are obedient to a fault. They are nine-tenths velociraptor and kitchen blender and one-tenth Labrador. It was the Labrador tenth that I valued most.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Money is a form of alchemy, [...] it turns kind, normal people into greed-mongers, intent only on acquisitiveness.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Quark!”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Don't get in a blue car on a Thursday.'
'Which Thursday?'
'Any Thursday.'
'What kind of car?'
'A blue one. On a Thursday.'
'Okay.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Just walk through him," I said, still deep in thought. "and if you ever wanted to know how a moose works, just stop halfway and take a good look around.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Sometimes your destiny takes you to dark places where you'd rather not be, but destiny, as they say, is destiny.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“It was written in the ancient RUNIX spell-language, and is read-only and can't be modified.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Love and magic are like oil and water--they just don't mix.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to for the greater good.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Dragons, like four o’clock tea, crumpets, marmalade, and zip-up cardigans, are a peculiarity to the Ununited Kingdoms. They are fierce, fire-breathing creatures of great intelligence, dignity, and sensitivity who could and did converse on matters of great importance. But for all their intelligence, wit, and social graces, dragons still had one habit that made them impossible to ignore.” “And that is?” “They liked to eat people.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Everyone can do a bit,” I said, wondering where Kevin Zipp was. “If you’re thinking of somebody and the phone rings and it’s them, that’s magic. If you get a curious feeling that you’ve been or done something before, then that’s magic, too. It’s everywhere. It seeps into the fabric of the world and oozes out as coincidence, fate, chance, luck, or what have you. The big problem is having enough magic to make it work for you in some useful manner.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“The most favorite boy’s name is James; the least favorite is Gzxkls.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“-Les presento al nuevo expósito, Tiger Prawns. Tiger te presento a las hermanas Karamázov. Deirdre y Deirdre.
-¿Por qué se llaman igual?
-Tenían un padre con muy poca imaginación.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Nasil and Owen transport organs for transplant these days—and deliver takeout."
"I hope they don't get those mixed up.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Working with those versed in the Mystical Arts was sometimes like trying to knit with wet spaghetti: just when you thought you’d gotten somewhere, it all came to pieces in your hands.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“...a standing ovation from five-year-olds is not to be sniffed at.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“I'm always surprised that you all don't take more interest in other creatures. It's like living on a street and not knowing your next-door neighbor. If I were human, I'd start investing in a little kindness. When the arthropods rule the planet, all those lobster dishes and crab sticks could well be a cause of some regret.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“The convent of the sacred order of the Blessed Ladies of the Lobster had once been a dank and dark medieval castle but was now, after a lick of paint and a few throw pillows, a dank and dark convent.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“...Mind you, if we we're talking about regeneration, we could go a step further and take a leaf out of the sponge book. There are sponges you can chop to pieces, whiz up in the blender, and then press through a sieve, but they'll still regenerate."
"Useful, maybe," I replied, "but I think there is a limit to the amount of fun you could have as a sponge.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“I was driving, which might have been unusual anywhere but here in the Kingdom of Hereford, which was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age. That explained why I’d had a license since I was thirteen, while some were still failing to make the grade at forty.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“I see you've met Patrick of Ludlow," I replied, trying to stifle a giggle, for Tiger was thirty feet up in the shabby atrium , perched high upon a chandelier. "How long have you been up there?"
"Half an hour," he answered crossly, "with only a lot of dust and the Transient Moose for company.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Governments might come and go, wars will reshape the Ununited Kingdoms many times. But companies will stay, and flourish. Show me any major event on this planet and I will show you the economic reason behind it. Commerce is all powerful, Miss Strange. Commerce rules our lives.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer

“Quark!"--the Quarkbeast”
― Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer