The Tetherballs of Bougainville Quotes

“Yo! You’re my dope dealer not my thesis adviser. If I wanted your opinion about my dissertation, I’d have asked for it, Motherfucker!”
― Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville

“Do it, my fellow Americans! Do it for every adolescent
anomic skank genius cloistered in his room, getting cranked,
rabidly humping his sampler as he confects some heretical,
monstrous persona for himself and dreams of an orgiastic,
blood-soaked apocalypse. Yes, the /impudence!/ We have
/nothing/ in this life of suffocating obligation but our
own motherfucking impudence! For God's sake, give us this
day our motherfucking big-dick impudence!!”
― Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville

“We have nothing in this life of suffocating obligation but our motherfucking impudence!”
― Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville

“Although we may deplore the film's scatological language, sexual explicitness and gratuitous gore as seemingly designed only to shock, in the manner of an angry, attention-craving child, we must remember that this movie was actually made by an angry, attention-craving child.”
― Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville

“Any asshole with a Masters in Social Work can put on a turban and start issuing fatwas about whom you can and whom you can't mail meat to, but it takes real balls to turn a brunette without a cranium into a blond.”
― Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville

“Maybe you don't really appreciate your father until he has huge tits.”
― Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville

“I guess I can picture things once they're done - I just can't picture actually doing them.”
― Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville