Sideways Stories from Wayside School Quotes

“You need a reason to be sad. You don't need a reason to be happy.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“It's funny how a person can be right all the time and still be wrong.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Dana had four beautiful eyes. She wore glasses. But her eyes were so beautiful that the glasses only made her prettier. With two eyes she was pretty. With four eyes she was beautiful. With six eyes she would have been even more beautiful. And if she had a hundred eyes, all over her face and her arms and her feet, why, she would have been the most beautiful creature in the world.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“better that way. Otherwise when someone said, “Hey, Eric,” no one knew to whom he was talking. One time all the Erics would answer, and the next time none of them would answer. But when someone said, “Hey, ‘Crabapple,’” then Eric Ovens knew they were talking to him. And if someone said, “Hey, ‘Butterfingers,’” Eric Fry knew they meant him. And when someone said, “Hey, ‘Fatso,’” Eric Bacon knew that he was being called.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“were.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Shut up, Dixie cup,”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“In fact, they were much too cute to be children.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“empty brown paper sack would taste better. But”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“They had never had a nice teacher. They were terribly afraid of nice teachers.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Dameon had hazel eyes with little black dots in the middle of each of them. The dots were called pupils.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“My dog, Pugsy, was hit by a car,”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Come on, D.J. You can tell me. Why are you so happy?' D.J. looked up at him. He said, 'You need a reason to be sad. You don't need a reason to be happy.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“stand”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“stupid!”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“tongue and”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Allison,” said Mrs. Jewls. “You learned a very important secret today, and I don’t want you to tell any of the other children, not even Rondi.” “What was that?” asked Allison. She didn’t even know she had learned a secret. She loved secrets. “You learned that children are really smarter than their teachers,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Oh, that’s no secret,” said Allison. “Everybody knows that.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“note,”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“With your help I can scratch both legs at the same time.” “No, never mind,” said Leslie. She walked up behind Louis, the yard teacher, and hopped on his shoulders. “Louis,” said Leslie. “I don’t know what to do with my toes.” Louis tugged her foot. “Yes, that is a serious problem,” he said, “but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take them off your hands for you, or rather, your feet. Just cut them off and”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Take a train, peanut brain,”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“his arm with her missing teeth. And that kind of bite”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“screeched. “Dirty, rotten pigs!” The smell was overpowering. Sammy just stood there, hidden under his raincoats. Mrs. Jewls wrote Sammy’s name under the word DISCIPLINE. “Send him home on the kindergarten bus,” said Joy. “Not with me,” said Todd. Mrs. Jewls held her nose, walked up to Sammy, and removed his raincoat. She threw it out the window. But he had on still another one. Sammy hissed. “Hey, old windbag, watch where you throw my good clothes!” Mrs. Jewls put a check next to Sammy’s name on the blackboard. Then she took off another raincoat and threw it out the window. The smell got worse, for he had on still another one. Sammy began to laugh. His horrible laugh was even worse than his horrible voice. When Sammy first came into the room, he was four feet tall. But after Mrs. Jewls removed six of his raincoats, he was only three feet tall. And there were still more raincoats to go. Mrs. Jewls circled his name and removed another coat. She threw it out the window. Then she put a triangle around the circle and threw another one of his coats outside. She kept doing this until Sammy was only one-and-a-half feet high. With every coat she took off, Sammy’s laugh got louder and the smell got worse. Some of the children held their ears. Others could hold only one ear because they were holding their nose with the other hand. It was hard to say which was worse, the laugh or the smell.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Because if you fidget or wriggle or squirm or sass me or get an answer wrong, I'll wiggle my ears— (Wiggles her ears: they vibrate dramatically. MYRON and BEBE duck under their desks) MYRON and BEBE: NO! MRS. GORF: --stick out my tongue and turn you into apples!”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“beautiful”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Eat a frog, warthog,”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“It’s funny how a person can be right all the time and still be wrong.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Okay, in that case, we have a lot of work to do—reading, writing, subtraction, addition, spelling. Everybody take out a piece of paper. We will have a test now.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“However, when I told them stories about you, they thought that you were strange and silly.” “US?” the children answered. “How are we strange?”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“Her specialty was a nice, hot bowl of mud. She called it porridge.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“First count to ten,” said Mrs. Jewls. Joe counted to ten: “six, eight, twelve, one, five, two, seven, eleven, three, ten.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories from Wayside School

“He picked Terrence up and kicked him over the fence.”
― Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories From Wayside School