The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse Quotes

“Jack, get a grip of yourself.'
I have a grip of myself.' Jack took a grip of himself. It was a most intimate grip; not the kind of grip that you usually take of yourself in public.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“As real as,' said Eddie.
'As real as what?' said Jack.
'Wish I knew,' said Eddie. 'But I can't do corroborative nouns. None of us are perfect, are we? I can get started. As big as, as obscene as, as foul as. But I can't get any further. But that's life for you again. As unfair as...”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Have you ever head this theory about drinking yourself sober?' Eddie asked. 'It's a very popular theory. Amongst drunks, anyway.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Oh dear,' said Eddie. 'We'd better hurry. Tinto, call me a cab.'
All right,' said Tinto. 'You're a cab.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Now, it's a fact well known to those who know it well that prophets of doom only attain popularity when they get the drinks in all around.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Science,' said Mr Anders Anders. 'Science, not magic. I told you before: when things are not as they appear to be, it's because they're actually simpler than you think them to be. Things are never as difficult and complicated as folk believe. You'd be surprised just how straightforward and obvious things really are. The secret is in knowing how to look at them the right way.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“The hill road wound upwards, as hill roads do, unless you're coming down them, of course.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Everyone misbehaves,' said Eddie. 'That's nature. Everyone gets away with as much as they can get away with. And the more they can get away with, the more they will.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“...And there's the Midnight Growlers, a philosophical movement dedicated to high spiritual ideals and the pursuit of truth and -'
Beer,' said Tinto.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Jack nodded. 'No,' he said.
Was that a trick answer?”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“And yes. They did become very drunk, the three of them.
And you're not supposed to be drunk when you get involved in matters such as this: Big Matters, Matters of an Apocalyptic Nature. You're supposed to be coldly sober. And you just can't be coldly sober when you're drunk.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Because I'm a special gatekeeper. I'm the head gatekeeper. Because, although, as you can see, I'm only a head, I'm also the gatekeeper. Which makes me the head gatekeeper. Which makes me very special, don't you agree?”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Still,' whispered Jack, 'you have to keep at it. Overcome the miseries of vomiting and the whirling pit. Pay your dues and work towards the real rewards of big-time adult drinking. Something to look forward to.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Well, of course there is such a thing as good taste! Some things actually are better than other things, and some people are capable of making the distinction.
But...
Bad taste will always ultimately triumph over good taste, because bad taste has more financial backing. There is far more profit to be made from selling cheap and nasty products, at a big mark-up, than selling quality items at a small mark-up. And you can always produce far more cheap and nasty items far more quickly than you can produce quality items. Far more.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Do you know any princes who are looking for a tart to marry?”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“This woman wasn't fat anywhere. She was slim as a whispered secret, and twice as dangerous, too.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Wheatley Porterman's gift was for identifying social problems, which he set in verse that touched the public's imagination, in the cause of Boy Blue, the scandal of child labour in rural areas which drove underage shepherds to exhaustion.

With Georgie Porgie, it was sexual harassment in the playground, by teachers against schoolgirls, Porgie being an overweight geography teacher whose notorious behaviour had previously gone unreported, due to his connection in high places.
[...]
Wheatley asserted that [The Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe] was allegorical: a cipher, or symbol, for the hideous overcrowding in certain inner city areas.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“A nursery rhyme character...they don't like that term. They prefer "Preadolescent Poetic Personalities".”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse