Bad Kitty Quotes

“It's so nice to have sane friends.
I imagine.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Little Life Lesson 51: When selecting a member of a group to put on the Endangered Species List, it’s probably best not to pick the least popular person, because there is always a chance everyone will shrug and be like, "Um, okay. Hey, anyone want pizza?" and leave.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“that arctic blast you're feeling? it's the chill coming off my cold shoulder”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“little life lesson 23: before making a snide comment about someone else's outfit, check to see if you're wearing knee boots with fringe. if you answer yes, drop it. just do.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“For some reason my father saw no problem with us pplaying "barbie and ken go to hawaii to save their marriage by picking up another couple for sexy good times," but if barbie and ken had gone to hawaii to "rescue another couple from a crazed kidnapper," that would have been wrong.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Because after the haze of not being kissed cleared I was forced to face the facts that:
1. Jack was a very bad guy.
2. Jack had threatened Fred.
3. Just thinking that he was going to kiss me made me tingly everywhere
4. In a way no other guy had
5. And that was without our mouths even touching
6. Which meant that
7. If they did
8. Wooohoo baby!
9. Except that it did not matter
10. At all
11. Because he was plotting against fred
12. And I was complicit in whatever he planned if I didn't tell Mr. Curtis
13. And I was trapped in a boat with a woman singing showtunes.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“I didn't mean to interupt you if you were looking for your friends Miss--'
'Callihan,' but you can call my Jasmine. Or Jas.' Or Snookums. Honeybunch. Hotsie Totsie Cowgirl. My Little--
'It's nice to meet you Jasmine, I'm Jack.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“i never thought of it before, but with your height and build, you are going to look SO CUTE in your straitjacket.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“favor de dejar un especimim em este copa para el doctor
what?
she told you to pee in a cup, i think that means get lost”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“talking to yourself again, jas?
yes, it beats talking to you.
oh, time machine back to first grade much?
only to visit your brain.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Which left me with the cheery knowledge that my father would wan tto spend time with me even if i were a cold, stiff corpse. not every daughter can say that, i bet!”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“that was the plan?
part of it, you don't wan tot know the rest. i believe the word 'these dog colllars would make excellent restraints' were involved.
it was a brilliant idea. and we only got really cute well-made collars. this is my favorite. we had the tag engraved to say BUBBA.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Little Life Lesson 40: If you are lucky enough to vist the Fantasyland Diner, try to stay as long as possible because their desserts are no calorie, and also: the realy world sucks.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“ask yourself, what would babbi do?
waht
WWBD? You know, the famous line in the movie Bambi if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty