Sean Gibson > Status Update

I got a butthole licking cat? What'll you trade me for him????

Hmmmm. The feline probably won't quell my son's sleep issues, but he may help me fill certain other gaping holes in my life.

How about half of the talking sandwich?

I'll babysit your toddler if you finish my politics final.

Duh - cats are KNOWN to smother toddlers. Just make sure your kid drinks a big glass of milk to ensure the smothering process begins and remove the cat from his face once he's past the sleeping deeply stage but before he's at the dead stage.

I think that's worth TWO talking sammiches.

But if you give away half of the talking sandwich for a cat then what will you pay for the toddler chloroform?

I have no AC at the moment and the weather is hot & humid. I hardly slept last night, nothing to trade here.

@Britt -- deal, but you gotta take him overnight. And I get to write whatever I want for your politics final.

@Kelly -- our cat is of no use in this regard, so I fail to see how yours will be. 1/2 sandwich, and that's my final offer.

@Aja -- please don't ask me to do math.

Is the sandwich a good conversationalist?

Roya wrote: "Is the sandwich a good conversationalist?"

It's not bad, but mostly it's just talking turkey.

(Hey-oh!)

Sean wrote: "@Britt -- deal, but you gotta take him overnight. And I get to write whatever I want for your politics final.

@Kelly -- our cat is of no use in this regard, so I fail to see how yours will be. 1/2..."

You'd laugh if you knew the final essay question. My professor is a shithead.

And I'll take your toddler overnight. But be warned, I'd pass him off to mama dragon who would hopefully have her grandbaby dreams satisfied for a little while. Does your son like dogs? Like little Toto dogs?

Sean, just so you know, there's a chemical in turkey that makes you sleepy. That's why people get so tired after Thanksgiving. Turkey = mild sedative in large enough quantities.

Brittain (Tara Belle Talking) wrote: "Sean wrote: "@Britt -- deal, but you gotta take him overnight. And I get to write whatever I want for your politics final.

@Kelly -- our cat is of no use in this regard, so I fail to see how yours..."

That's fine. But, be warned...he may, um, drive you crazy. Or just to the grocery store.

Brittain (Tara Belle Talking) wrote: "Sean, just so you know, there's a chemical in turkey that makes you sleepy. That's why people get so tired after Thanksgiving. Turkey = mild sedative in large enough quantities."

Do you have any idea how much turkey you have to eat to actually get enough tryptophan in you to make you tired?

You'd need to eat like 7 turkeys.

Sean wrote: "Brittain (Tara Belle Talking) wrote: "Sean wrote: "@Britt -- deal, but you gotta take him overnight. And I get to write whatever I want for your politics final.

@Kelly -- our cat is of no use in t..."

I can handle him. He's too cute to be a troublemaker.

Yeah but while you're eating all that turkey, you'd go into a food coma anyways. Problem solved.

Okay, okay, but you should know that chloroform probably isn't your best option anyways.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HALKjJ8...

But here, try this!



Or you can do the boring things like turkey and warm milk. Your call. ;)

Aja wrote: "Okay, okay, but you should know that chloroform probably isn't your best option anyways.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HALKjJ8...

But here, try this! "

See?? Toddler chloroform DOES exist.

Does that mean I win the sandwich?

Or you could go with the reverse psychology method

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yC_v...

Aja wrote: "Does that mean I win the sandwich?"

You still have to actually give me the chloroform...

Sean wrote: "Aja wrote: "Does that mean I win the sandwich?"

You still have to actually give me the chloroform..."

Oh, Mary...you winsome little popinjay.

Doesn't regular chloroform work even better on toddlers?

Anyway, I recommend warm milk with a teaspoon of whiskey. Don't tell my brother.

Miriam wrote: "Doesn't regular chloroform work even better on toddlers?

Anyway, I recommend warm milk with a teaspoon of whiskey. Don't tell my brother."

Your secret's safe with me, Superwoman.

That medieval history BA was useful for something...

I can't sleep due to the weather anyway so just give me the little rascal and you'll owe me one (my cat talks enough to me, I don't need a sandwich on top of that). *says it like an Italian mafia boss*

I always wanted baby mickey finn's, but I'm old school. ;)

Now I'm trying to picture an Italian mob boss with a German accent, Trish. And it's making me giggle.

Sean wrote: "Now I'm trying to picture an Italian mob boss with a German accent, Trish. And it's making me giggle."

Hey! Caaaareful! *tries to mimick German accent when speaking English* We do not make jokes. *makes Italian gestures* We only make offers you cannot refuse.

Darn. Why do your kids have to be so cute? I just wanna gobble them all up.

Licha wrote: "Darn. Why do your kids have to be so cute? I just wanna gobble them all up."

Wanna gobble 'em up overnight tonight?

When I babysit over night I always tell the parents their baby slept right through the night. Annoys the heck out of 'em.

Miriam wrote: "When I babysit over night I always tell the parents their baby slept right through the night. Annoys the heck out of 'em."

Hahaha. Good one, Miriam.

Sean wrote: "Licha wrote: "Darn. Why do your kids have to be so cute? I just wanna gobble them all up."

Wanna gobble 'em up overnight tonight?"

You near California? Don't forget to bring a bowl of gravy.

I told you to spike his milk with rum or whiskey. Or you can send him my way...I'm a baby and toddler whisperer!

He's on a plane to Australia by way of California right now...

It will be between 22 & 24 hours flight...I'll be in Melbourne airport tomorrow arvo!

I'll teach the li'l rug rat to refuse and NOT eat choc mint flavoured ice cream. Methinks that's the culprit!

I adore you Gibsy. That post was awesome.

I usually do not remember my dreams at all. Last night I dreamed I was at the beach and stepped on a spiky stingray (which doesn't exist, obviously) and my best friend spent hours picking painful black spikes out of my feet. I swear, the dream was so vivid, my feet hurt. I remember the pain.

Try telling him the most boring bedtime story that you can think off :D It should be so boring that he would rather sleep than listen to it any longer.. Should work xD If not..
Maybe there is some scientific fall asleep music for children on youtube. I mean there is one for dogs & cats so why not children?

LOL you are funny.

Quieting Syrup - Victorian style
https://youtu.be/i8e2MWmTZN8

Calm 'n Restful tabs

Put a fan in his room for white noise. Helps immensely.

Coffee - in a very small amount, like 2oz + lots of milk & some sugar. Paradoxical effect on children, makes them sleepy.(in the morning, of course, leads to naps).

Food sensitivities - Knew a 5 yr old boy who couldn't eat mac&cheese before sleeping or he would wake up all night, the salt & dairy bothered his sleeping. His 3 yr old sister couldn't eat chocolate or dairy before bed. (I don't really comprehend the why of these, but that's what their mother observed).

Being overtired can make a child wake through the night = earlier bedtime.

Yes to the whiskey! My dad used to dip my pacifier in honey & liquor when I had colic as an infant.

He's way too cute looking to cause trouble, but that's probably how he tricks you into thinking you'll get 8 hours of sleep.


I imagine this is you in the mornings


See, cats do facilitate sleep.

@Aileene -- I think he needs MORE chocolate mint, not less.

@Jess -- I was already mildly terrified of most ocean life...now I have to worry about spiky stingrays, real or not. THANKS FOR THAT.

@Johanna -- All of my bedtime stories are boring. ;)

@Kate -- I'm all about the quieting syrup! Heh. I think the biggest problem right now is a combination of bad dreams and just general upheaval from baby sister/moving/new daycare/etc. So, he just fights so hard to prolong going to sleep (another book! tuck me in again! tuck my stuffed animals in! I want some milk!), and then, when he wakes up at night, does NOT want to go back to sleep for hours. On the plus side, FULL NIGHT OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT for the first time in 2.5 weeks...woo hoo! So, maybe we're turning a corner (famous last words, I realize).

Thanks to everyone for the helpful suggestions, providing support, and sending me cocaine to get me through the days.

I felt like you might be able to relate to this -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFAN...

Hahahaha! Totally, Inge.

I found something that may be slightly more humane than toddler chloroform.

Good Luck! ;)

http://www.frusane.com/2015/08/this-b...

I will await my talking sandwich lol

Ha! Clearly, whoever wrote that book does NOT have kids...

I dunno... It's got 4 stars on Goodreads. Might be worth a shot ;)