talia’s Reviews > Crystal Storm > Status Update
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talia
is on page 223 of 379
I'm disappointed at how cheesy the writing is - like, it's pretty cringey. This is the 5th book in a series that should be focused on the plot...but it's instead, it's scene after scene of one character noticing another character.
— Nov 18, 2023 06:10AM
talia
is on page 60 of 379
Ahh yess, the famed "she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding" has appeared! I'm sooo glad we're out of that era!
And also random action sequences pop up for shock value yet again! Again adding absolutely NOTHING to the plot. Yay!
— Nov 12, 2023 08:40AM
And also random action sequences pop up for shock value yet again! Again adding absolutely NOTHING to the plot. Yay!
talia
is on page 50 of 379
This definitely reads like a book published in 2016...a lot more "tell" than "show".
Prime example:
Character A is remembering how their mother told them to be confident even if they didn't feel it.
Character A proceeds to say "I will be confident even if I don't feel it". It *should* have been written like: "Character A rolled back their shoulders, tipped up their chin, hinted a smiled, and walked with pride"
— Nov 11, 2023 11:30AM
Prime example:
Character A is remembering how their mother told them to be confident even if they didn't feel it.
Character A proceeds to say "I will be confident even if I don't feel it". It *should* have been written like: "Character A rolled back their shoulders, tipped up their chin, hinted a smiled, and walked with pride"
