Shannon’s Reviews > Hit List > Status Update
Shannon
is on page 28 of 320
"God, you're tiny. I bet I can put my hands around that little white-girl waist, and you still have boobs and an ass. That is not fair, girl-friend." She'd taken the I'll-cut-myself-down-and-compliment-you-before-you-beat-me-to-it tack. I had the choices of ignoring it, complimenting her in some way, or agreeing that I looked good without complimenting her back.
— Jul 10, 2011 07:49PM
Wild guess: LKH doesn't have women friends.
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Shannon’s Previous Updates
Shannon
is finished
I've learned you can fuck this many people, but you can't take care of this many people's emotional needs. You can fuck 'em, but you can't date 'em. Some of the men are happy with being fuck buddies, but most of them want more. People say that women are the romantic sex, but you couldn't prove it by my life. My boyfriends are all more romantic than I am, and so are my lovers.
— Jul 31, 2011 06:17PM
THAT'S how you end a book. Beautiful.
Shannon
is on page 318 of 320
Ahahahahaha! Olaf! Really? You've got to be shitting me! Seriously? Omg. ROFLOL.
— Jul 31, 2011 06:13PM
Shannon
is on page 318 of 320
Yaaaaay! You're not even giving me 10 pages, only 3, to wrap everything up. You vile, vile woman.
— Jul 31, 2011 06:11PM
Shannon
is on page 311 of 320
This whole part is so melodramatic and sappy it's making my teeth hurt.
— Jul 31, 2011 06:04PM
Shannon
is on page 304 of 320
Only Anita could make decapitations boring.
— Jul 31, 2011 05:54PM
They got settled over the sleeping vampires. I counted, motioned, and their swords were a shiny blur. Two heads came off and rolled away from the bodies. The third head took a second blow. I stared at Thaddeus, who had needed two blows.
"The angle wasn't perfect," he said.
I said, "I'm with him, you had all the time in the world to set up your angle."
Yaaawwwn.
Shannon
is on page 301 of 320
Lisandro grabbed my arm and spun me around to look at him. "Anita, I'm the muscle, you're the brains. Think of something!"
Oh man, you guys are seriously FUCKED if Anita is the brains of this operation.
— Jul 31, 2011 05:42PM
Oh man, you guys are seriously FUCKED if Anita is the brains of this operation.
Shannon
is on page 300 of 320
I feel like I'm being punk'd. No, really. I have 20 pages left and the ACTUAL PLOT has yet to start. Really. 20 pages. You're going to wrap this up in 20 pages. Someone shoot me now.
— Jul 31, 2011 05:34PM
Shannon
is on page 298 of 320
Having Olaf die in the line of duty would solve so many problems, but he was a good man in a fight and he was a fellow marshal. I couldn't wish him dead.
— Jul 31, 2011 05:30PM
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HE'S A SERIAL KILLER. Anita, you are retarded. Not just stupid, but mentally challenged. Oh, he's good in a fight but he likes to kill and rape women who look like me. Let's be best friends forever!
Shannon
is on page 298 of 320
So you don't even need to touch Anita's magical cooch to be ensorcelled anymore: petting her hair will suffice.
— Jul 31, 2011 05:25PM
Shannon
is on page 296 of 320
So, Anita has been kidnapped, but the one main bad guy leaves the room and her other two captives decide, what the hell, let's release her? There is no tension, nor conflict, nor real danger at all in this book. Except for the water stains. WATCH OUT FOR THE WATER STAINS.
— Jul 31, 2011 05:06PM
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Desperado
(new)
Jul 10, 2011 07:57PM
Is this LKH's take on how women of color talk? Oh no she di'int!
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OMG, that was going through my head. EXACTLY. I was actually getting ready to type up something else this chick says. Here's the rest of the page, continued:
The last choice would make her dislike me more. She'd already let me know, nicely, that my being a few sizes smaller than her made her predisposed not to like me. One of the good things about working with men was that they didn't do this shit.
I tried, but I sucked at these games. "I know men who prefer your body type to mine."
"Bullshit," she said, and was ready to be angry.
"I hang around with a lot of older vampires. They don't like the really thin girls. They like women to look like women, not preadolescent boys with boobs sort of stuck on as an afterthought."
"You don't look like that," she said, her voice a little less angry, but still not friendly.
"Neither do you. We both look nice and curvy the way God intended grown-up women to look."
She thought about it and then grinned at me. It lit her whole face up, and I knew we'd be okay. "Ain't that the truth. But that booty is not white-girl booty."
"I'm told I look like my mother, except paler. She was Hispanic."
"That explains it. I knew you were too round in the right places to be white bread."
hehehe, is like she's trying to use as many cultural cliches as she can in one paragraph.
*blink blink* *blink blink* I'm speechless. (view spoiler) Yo, Hamilton? You'd better not come around my town...or, in LKH-speak, you best not be comin round dis here hood, hooker! *snaps fingers in the air*
Can you believe that this book is already on the heavily discounted table at my local book store. I walked right on by. Can't do it.
LMAO @LethalAnd she's Hispanic, should I be insulting her in spanish too? LOL
AH wrote: "Can you believe that this book is already on the heavily discounted table at my local book store. I walked right on by. Can't do it."That is actually kind of surprising. Even though her books are abso-fucking-lutely terrible, they still wind up in the bestsellers.
But yeah, I wouldn't buy it if it was $1.
Yeah, I'm thinkin' she doesn't hang out with other females much. In my experience, girlfriends are effusive with compliments and don't feel weird about it. That's one of the great things about hanging out with other women, when they're non-superficial type relationships.
LKH has issues with other women, I think. But this is just appalling! Here's hoping she doesn't write an Australian character or she'll have her ride in on a crocodile saying, "G'day, mate! I just finished cookin' my prawns on the barbie!"
Oh yay! I'm caught up now and doesn't this book just sound thrilling!??I bet Hamilton has girl friends, she's just the kind that really really really wants to be surrounded by alot of guy friends.
She probably has that one bitchy girlfriend that agrees with her on everything. I don't see her having actual healthy relationships with women - the quote shows that she doesn't know what one is.And the girls she's talking to, she just met. Who's acts or thinks like that? Not normal people.
True. But I don't know a lot of guys that could be bothered putting up with that personality either. Maybe she just has zero friends. Awwwwwww Nigel.Maybe I will flag this book.
