Sleepless Dreamer’s Reviews > Nine Quarters of Jerusalem > Status Update

Another late night, 7 months into war. And i cannot sleep again. I am tired of complaining to friends, exhausted of sharing emotions and distracting myself and confronting my anxieties.

My sadness is so vast. It cannot be reduced. I begin to fear that I will never heal from any of this.

Some days I feel like myself again. My mind is clear. I remember that I am not a creature of war.

But other days? The pain is engulfing. I am every Israeli. I am every Palestinian. There is no future or past. I freeze as though grief can be fought with hibernation.

I cried three times because of the war today. This is what healing looks like.

These times are not normal. Will never be normal. Some days, functioning is painful. I am still doing my best, every day, and that has to be enough.

Me, throughout my entire army service: the sexualization of soldiers is a sign of a sick militaristic society, it must stop.

Me now: goddammit, literally every person in reserves is absurdly beautiful, what the heck

Anyways, I'm done mincing words, Hamas can go fuck itself in the queerest way possible

Solo travel is great because I'm pretty sure none of my friends would be open to spending two hours in the archives of a war museum in Tokyo, watching old American documentaries. That is their loss, ofc. I've had a blast.

And it is shocking to step out to Tokyo's big streets after seeing its past.

Me: I have forgot to give my back residency card. This is against the law. I am a criminal and will be banned from Korea, oh no

The immigration office, fixing this in 4 seconds:

Me: could my concerns be totally made up? Nah, let's move on. My checked in luggage is definitely missing forever. I'm sure of it.

Me, when I first came to Korea: Yes, doors are intimidating here and they feed my anxiety about getting trapped somewhere but I'm sure this will go away once i get more comfortable here

me, in my 5th month in Korea: fuck these doors. seriously, what a cursed concept.

How to recognize an Israeli in Korea:
- "I absolutely need a salad, I miss vegetables"
- "Well, Iranian food is very close to my country but it is different"
- shorts, sandals, curly hair, accent that sounds like French
- randomly mentions a word in Russian
- "Khummus"

Yes, I'm totally eavesdropping but this is my first time running into an Israeli here. Do I reveal my own Israeliness or continue listening?

6am, there's a missile alert in the Seoul area. Everyone seems to be confused and panicking.

I'm just here like, "as I've said to the Hamas, Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad, I refuse to get out of bed before 9am and if this is how I die, so be it".

Really, as an Israeli, Korea is absolutely not prepared for a war.

Jewish conversations with Korean proselytizers like:

There's a mistake in your Old Testament translation.

Do I know Jesus? Oh, I used to live by Mount of Olives, where Jesus ascended. I could have a conversation in Jesus' native language. I'm more culturally similar to Jesus than you.

2000 years of Christians trying to convert us and you think you'll succeed? I don't hate Christianity, don't make me start.